07.12.2012 – 09.12.2012

Friday 07.12.2012

In the bus I said “Hi” to my ex-classmate Sarah. Andrea sat next to me. Imagine, she forgot to copy the Math notebook I gave her two days ago. She didn’t bring it with her because she overslept. What kind of irresponsibility is that?

In Campus 2, my colleagues still haven’t entered in lecture room 1. Now I was the one who was supposed to say something to them. Thomas was in my horizon.
I said:
-Good morning. Thomas.
But he wasn’t looking at me.
I leaned on the wall alone where there was place although I later spotted Dave further.
When I looked at Thomas, he was looking at me.
-For the doll?
-Yes.
He told me he had ordered it.

Again I was alone, but this time I was happy. I have missed my usual Fridays at the beginning. So, my mood made a come back. Nostalgia…

After I.T. I and Muhammed shook hands plus I greeted the it girl. If I hadn’t said first, there would be nothing.

I went down the road during the break. Alone again. Maybe I should give up my current target and redirect on the studying again that I do best.

In the faculty, I mistook the hall. Dave joined me. He was rushing the Electrotechnics seminar work, but I was considering it was early.

There was a woman holding a sheet in lecture room 12. The place I chose to sit was busy, so I took the other column, not seeing it was Nelson II next to who there was a free chair that Dave utilised. I went to the woman asking what is it, it was a brochure about students’ going to America the next summer. Thomas asked me if I was fine and while the audience listened and watched, Muriel asked the exercises from me (“just to see how many are there”, but kept them).
-A you don’t give them to me. – Thomas objected.
-You don’t ask. – I defended myself, although neither Muriel had asked them from me.

Après the woman’s Work & travel in America presentation et après the brief tasks presentation by three colleagues (Vanessa, some Tara and Nelson II), Nelson answered me that he found his task from the Internet, then Muriel addressed me:
-Nick, when are you leaving?
-Ооо. – William’s reaction sounded.
-At 15 to 12.
I went to her. Encouraged by William I asked:
-And you when?
-At 12 and 10.
-No business. You won’t leave together.
A romantic connection. Is there a chemistry between us?

Christy got interested whose were the sheets on the desk, Muriel interrupted her:
-Don’t touch ‘em. They’re Nick’s.
-Аа, well I thought someone forgot them.
Ooo. Fear from the “Terminator”.

Muriel and Emily went at the assistant office, I waited for them in the hall. One of the tasks presenters asked me if Muriel’s going to show me some task, I asked her where she found the task – she invented it!

Muriel and Emily came out. They were inside to inquire about the seminar work.

Downstairs, Muhammed saw me walking with two girls. I didn’t have balance, but this time this situation was different from high school.
-Bro, what are you doing? – he asked me.
-I’m walking.

The girls sat on the chairs, Tara commented that I was shy to ask Muriel about the task, to which Muriel replied that I knew it, and I was sincere that I didn’t, but will learn it at home. “Ay, ay…” followed from Muriel addressed to Tara. I joined them, Muhammed went outside entrusting me his notebook. Benjamin and his friends passed, saying nothing to me. Of course, what else can I expect? But when he’s alone he comes back to me. It is correct to stay away from people who everything they do, do for self-glory, and not God’s.

Muhammed was teaching Muriel Turkish on a funny way.

Muhammed offered me to go to disco with him, where there were a lot of Turkish girls, but:
-No. – I denied.
-Is there some problem?
-There is.
-Why?

-I won’t tell you why.
But I did say when he wasn’t looking at me.
-Because of the religion.
Muriel heard me.
-Do the Turkish woman wear scarfs?
-They don’t. I think.
To those that’d say I don’t have to marry one if just go out with her, I say that love isn’t unserious thing in my life.

51Kc+a84akL._UX342_Muriel and I went towards the copy shop. Once again she was interested about the Turkish women and wearing scarfs. I explained her what we learnt History: Kemal Mustafa Ataturk (a.k.a. Father of the Turks) passed law which prohibited one man having multiple women and law for women removing fez and veil. She told me all the Turkish words she knows, including a curse in Arabian. In the copy shop it was crowded and we were waiting for our turn while she was selecting what (not) to copy. She asked me if she could fold an almost empty sheet as a sign not to copy, something that in sixth grade I wouldn’t have allowed at all, I approved. I added that the woman in the copy shop where I had been, asked me whether to put the last sheet. Muriel hesitated, before suggesting me to go to wait for the bus, then there she to return the exercises or on Monday if I have left as her phone was saying 12:41. I agreed and went to wait where Nelson II came as well.

Later, Sarah came to Zlox. There were a few students in the bus (only Stanley from the Mines).

In Sarah’s opinion I should transfer from the other group since part of this group has seen me nervous. No, it’s OK now. It wasn’t and it’s not as serious as I thought it would be. After a week the pain flares up again, but only when I think of the event. Besides, at least in our group it looks like there isn’t as much jealousy and hypocrisy as in the first one. Just remember of: Benjamin, Tim, Nelson 1, even Andrea… No.

In addition she assumed my Facebook friends would have been shocked if I was tagged in the photo in the group from last Thursday when they would see me only with males! Things change 🙂

 

Saturday 08.12.2012

St. Clement of Ohrid.

One year ago on this holiday, I got assured in what I desired as a gift from God – my sexuality was changed! One year after the miracle.

 

[The text for the period 09.12.2012-13.12.2012 is based on notes.]

 

Sunday 09.12.2012

Sammy visited me. I studied, it was without heavy talks.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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