24.11.2012, 25.11.2012

Saturday 24.11.2012.

I didn’t go to Stip. At 09:07 Gulben shared that she’s with Muriel at Campus 2. I didn’t know whether to believe, she might have posted it because the dean released them, so they were timefilling. Why exactly today from all days? To make us jealous?

Sarah left home.

Nick Nickson asked in the group did we have B.P., Benjamin replied “Yesss…”, and Reis wrote to A. Sushison to shut up. Experience had told me not to believe in everything that I see, so those Benjamin’s “sss…” could sound like false brag that could mean arrangement of those who came for nothing to lie to the others and Reis’s comment might have been foreshadowing the truth. However Gulben’s comment “Dont worry we were 20 people we signed 50” ruined my doubts: they had. Now Reis’s comment probably referred that Sushi didn’t come, so his friend signed him.

THEY HAD! This is my second missed lecture so far. It’s not “let it be”. How could I afford it: only 3 working days the week? It’s not about the two and a half hours lecture… I would have progressed in spiritualism… We would have been a few so they would have felt me close… A mistake again! I didn’t listen to myself. Adele said that in high school our parents stand behind us, on faculty we build ourselves as persons… I’m failing the test now.

My family (that has hurt me by great lengths when I was vulnerable) influenced me again. When will some people understand that money isn’t so important?

At least I’m glad that the mistake happened now, in the first semester. I gained experience. Now I know. This will serve to me for sth greater, for example not to stop me from publishing my diary. From now on when it comes to my life, they are powerless.

Like my status on Ni Ck: I do regret… but I’m happy for my mistakes… they ALWAYS make me STRONGER!

 

Sunday 25.11.2012

I was making the Maths seminar work.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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