Thursday 25.10.2012

After my usual walk in Stip, I arrived first in A.2.

When the most handsome guy entered with his friend-roommate, I heard:
-Bravo, just him.
The m(ost) h(andsome) g(uy) picked the second row. While he was leaving tracks showing the places are busy for his friends, right in front of me, I could, but decided not to look at his butt, as I preferred to look at God.

I was surprised to see Gülben, so I asked her:
-Gulben, isn’t it your holiday today?
-It’s my holiday.
And then, Dave placed himself next to me.

It was interesting how the M.H.G. defended the busy seat. We heard “the second WC” instead of “the second row” and after he got noted, he said “Fuck you!” Uh-um. Fuck you, not “Motherfucker”. Gulben, Dave and I laughed.

hqdefault - Copy#3 wanted Gulben regarding the holiday Eid al-Adha to give him donuts and pancakes instead of baklava. When will some people learn there are more important things than food? I know, when their first sexual experience happens.

Dave told #3 “I’m not taking you later” multiple times but didn’t want to specify where. Then he quietly told him nobody to hear. Ooo, I’m already a threat! It doesn’t matter, at that moment like there wasn’t a loftier feeling for me from the thought that God will take me to heaven!

Newsflash: Vanessa shaved part of her hair.

On the lecture Marcus and I greeted each other and he passed through my forehead with a golden ring to see if I was charmed. I’m not sure how unchristian it was, but I understood it as a joke.

The girl behind me (probably called Sandry) called our most handsome guy. At last, his name was Reis. Reis? Who would say that the M.H.G. belonged to another nation? Which one?

The girl asked a pen from him, but he didn’t have. Actually he said:
-I have a pen but… (he smiled)
Well our ex-Darryl had a better sense of humour: “I have a pen with a white ink”. Uh-uh! A weak spot.

At first I assumed he was Gypsy as he was fluent in speaking our language, but his excessive body hair classified him as Turk.

Probably the same girl later asked me if I’ll give her to rewrite the Electrotechnics exercises from the last practices. Reis (it’s strange now, I know) warned her that she talks during lectures, I smiled to him and quietly said “I’m not listening to you”. He was just jealous to me. Then, he and I had a moment looking at each other.

In lecture room 3, Nelson II asked me which group am I from, and I went to get a student confirmation at the counter where I met Dave and asked him what he was doing. He later told Nelson II they had mistaken his surname in his E-index.

I wasn’t satisfied from the day and I. I just… wasn’t me. The things weren’t at all as I imagined at the beginning. Why did I try at all!

I was at the edge to snap, the others had some others, and I? Of course, patience won. I admit they are strong, but they are not strong enough to alienate me from God. In fact they just harden my idea to publish my diary. It will happen, I’m sure!

On the break, I turned around to see the other lone boy. I removed my head from him, but I looked at him again after I realised who he was – Mike. He said I was solving a lot, I asked him why in the last row.

I noticed that our it girl wasn’t there, it must be why it wasn’t cheerful.

They have no idea how much I love them and how much I hate the sin in them. They don’t care if their sins surpass them as people. I admit the profane life is tempting, but this what I do is for a bigger purpose. I’m sure it’s the right way. I looked at the sky as hope.

On the road Mike asked me if I would go home. I didn’t stand next to Nelson II as he expected, but close to #3. The potential #4 asked me how was the math today, I repeated him that it was “fucked up”.12847

A guy from behind who said “Dick” looked like Lester to me. So he is pervert like his brother too. I remembered his black tracksuit with the Adidas sign.

When the van for the high school students arrived, a guy – “the Chocolate one” called me with them. I could have waited for the bus, but I appreciated his help. That’s good will, not showing a middle finger!

In the van, the lone girl on the first seat ignored me, so I reached after the other only empty seat – the third row with Harold.
-Harold, is it free?
-It’s free.
I sat and the guy with the 3-striped tracksuit was sitting in front of me. It was Lester who had left empty the seat between him and the window, forbidding me to sit. Is that so? He asked sth Harold, and he finished the sentence with slowed down intonation typical for the females. Perhaps that’s why he refused to answer my gay Ask and Facebook question. Lester told him something, glancing at me. In fact Lester told him many things, he just laughed. I heard Zane was in the van plus. Lester offered Harold Choco Biscuit, he refused. Distanced despite the so many interactions, so he must be either gay or bi. Lester didn’t want either so he gave the whole chocolate to the Chocolate one. I understand this as bribe for deepening their fragile friendship.

Lester indicated me with his eyes to Harold. If I’m so interesting, why didn’t he choose first-hand exploration? Fear.

One situation certainly wasn’t enough, but after this I changed my opinion about Lester. From now on only God and people that mean a lot to me can hurt me, Lester isn’t in that rank anymore.

They have chosen the devil and their deeds confirm it! No problem, I’ll pull through. I’ve been through so many things, what could be worse than them? I’m not accepted here, but with publishing the diary I would get accepted worldwide. Jesus wasn’t accepted by the Jews too. Thank you for adding Biblical perspective to my story.

Standing up, Lester’s legs still looked fat to me. No he was wearing the jeans from his seventh grade picture.

It was spiritually though day for me. Tomorrow I hope for renaissance. Friday love !

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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