Friday 05.10.2012

Dave didn’t look at me when I looked at him. Andrea sat with me in the bus, but continued her way to the faculty with Ethan. Anyway, I smiled for knowing them better. In the hall, I was standing alone, while almost all the others had company – around the popular girl, the 3 popular guys, another 3 guys next to me, other males and females… They occasionally looked at me. Of course it wasn’t as I had imagined at the beginning. However it wasn’t bad, it was very hopeful seeing those new faces not being afraid to show them the real me. They are seen with others, but my real abilities are inside me. That’s why it’s called spirituality.

On our first I(nternet) T(echnologies) practices on our first time in lecture room 1, I had trouble turning on the computer not realising it hasn’t been turned on from the tower. We were finally told the username and the password for e-studying, but some of us couldn’t open the current I.T. presentation. As I wouldn’t have many chances like this I told the guy next to me to change to Latin letters, it didn’t work. Then it occurred to me to try IT2012 as it was stated in the path bar, it worked. The guy next to me asked me how to enter, I told him. I showed the girl next to me how to open WordPad. In the end the guy next to me headed me to save the document in both txt and HML format. Progress. After we were released, the “it” girl with her friends went to eat at “Chardak”. I went outside, where I spotted Ethan and Derek V. on a bench with a couple of guys. There was no one in lecture room 12, not even chairs. I was looking from the window, just like I looked from the little classroom in the geological building in the first year. Alone. I went in the hall where I read the board with French words. A man who later turned out to be the Electrotechnics’ assistant asked me what did I have and told me to call the others, those “others” I saw at the second floor hall earlier, who asked me where was the lecture room 12. I addressed to a girl who was familiar to me telling her they should come upstairs. One of our popular guys looked at me while I was looking the girl in eyes. Continuing on the stairs, I asked her what was her name. I was wrong – I hadn’t met her before. She was Muriel from Kochani, “actually from Orizari” as she said. Yet, the assistant got us downstairs in another lecture room where I sat in the second row, Muriel sat two places away from me.
-Where are you?
It was the popular guy who looked at me before. A bite! This is owning my own power.  I thought he was asking Muriel, but she stopped looking at him.
-Me? – I asked. -From Zlox.
…even though I wasn’t sure of the question’s context. He smiled, I joined him. The funniest thing to me was learning that our “it” girl is named Sarah when Muriel addressed her. Another one! What an irony!

Just after the assistant introduced himself, I interrupted him:
-Professor, excuse me. You have given me wrong list. For another group.
I figured it out as soon as I saw “Munin Mansur” in it. And yes, the real me wasn’t shy to do the step. I made my first contact with the “it” girl. I dared to interactively participate of the explanation of the prefixes for the physical quantities. Yup.

It was the international day of the smile, I went to wait transport happy. It was a day as I expected, the best from this week, leaving a very promising future. Derek V. greeted me. A guy from behind me approached me calling me “Boss” to ask me which group I am, did we have practices and how long they lasted. The bus left me in Preevytip, but this time I had a co-villager waiting for taxi. Sarah and I didn’t see each other although she was on the square waiting for Zlox.

I was home before 1 o’clock.

Peeling-a-Fire-Roasted-PepperWhile we were peeling peppers for ajvar, speaking about Terrence G. (the one from Mary’s birthday), dad said he was like female – to what grandma and I asked for confirmation. We all know what we thought of at the silent moment. Right after it grandma mentioned Sarah alluding to my closeness with the female sex. Let it be.

Later, at grandma’s I told Sarah secrets from my life in Stip and beyond. She told me I am now freer for 50% from last year. Wow! A big percentage, and until the end of the year it will be 100%. She strongly suggested me to go to the party, but… I want the real me there, not the fake one being accompanied with Andrea…

At grandma’s I hid and peeked after kids that found me interesting. Realising that I’ll meet them on the street eventually I dared to show myself completely, opening the door. We started with his “What are you doing” and my “Do you know me?”, continued with my question about their names, to whom are they and what grade are them and ended with: “Don’t be shy” – “We aren’t shy” after the left.

In the evening Lester saw me climbing on the stairs. He waved me saying “Wher’ are you?”. I waved him and “helloed” him.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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