Wednesday 03.10.2012

I went out of my house right after the bus for the high school students passed. I and my little neighbor Albert were looking each other and were smiling. I said “Al”. Ducky was looking at me from the bus. Andrea didn’t sit next to me, but to a blonde girl whom she continued her way with. A surprise. Bravo.

In the amphitheater 2, I sat next to a male and another male sat next to me. We finally had a lecture from the dean who wasn’t strict at all, better than I expected. He explained the points for the grades – so the exam can be replaced with a little talk. I didn’t get everything, but I will.

On the pause I saw Munin entering with a friends, then he looked at me. I won’t give up from him, not only because I’m bored of giving up, but because he’s a good soul. As the test is passed, if I have chance I’ll verbally tell him I don’t have who to hang out with as an offer to accept me with him. I have nothing to lose.

Not having my brake a.k.a. Andrea, I could freely walk across the town. However, while sitting on a bench, I saw she called me at 10:22. What? Probably her friends left her. So she was seeking for me. I need to change
my phone number fast. Minutes later, there she was again – vibrating in my pocket. The fake me answered to hear herimage_1434723799_62 rude proposition – to wait for her on front of the “Stopanska banka” in order to leave together. Is she brainless? I manipulated her that I was not sure about the location, but she was relentless.
-Nick do you get it?
I did get the place, I didn’t get her. When she already gets I’m intelligent how come she doesn’t get I get she uses me? On the other side that’s what I wanted she to think. “OK”, “the fake me” said and went on arranged place where she wasn’t. My day started great, why she happened? At least without her I’m in peace. I kept walking and I called mum, just for the “smoker” not to be able to reach me. I yelled. So she can be without me when she has other friends, but without them I am her first choice (in other word – trash). Mum was approving our friendship, but to my complaining and nervousness responded I to go towards the bus station. I know it’s a sin, but I couldn’t stand her. In fact I can’t stand the fake me anymore. If she had already chosen profane life, why doesn’t she go somewhere and have sex like her sister? And four years like this? A-a. Not war, if I want I will make her life hell. Anyway, I sat in front of the bank to wait for her. She (obviously I don’t wanna name her) called me to say she’s coming and called me again to ask me where was I. In the end she found me and answered “Well when you don’t want to stand up”. I did but it’s not my fault that she was late and her opinion has zero meaning to me. Like I knew, she was at the dorm, eating. Without a question she told the rice, the steak and a third thing that my brain refused to process, my advice: Leave it for your friends in hell. She told me she found me place for stay over on the students’ night – at Tim’s adding that they said I was very calm. I’m not going though it could be a great chance for… you know what. We saw Sandy from Zlox saying “Hi”. Andrea replied, Sandy said “Wher’ are you”? This was to me, not everyone wants crumbs. I wasn’t hiding my smile. If only everyone was like Sandy…

Again – commenting about my not hanging out. “When will you hang out, on 60 years?” Don’t worry, I’m surprised by my extreme change from last year, if it doesn’t work – I have my diary, if that doesn’t work – I’ll hang out in the eternity. We didn’t go at the bus station, she didn’t want to pay 10 denars, and how much did she spend ringing me? After she met Marcus she asked me if I wanted to copy his Basics of Programming book with her. Uninterested, I said “Alrighty”. Alrighty. When she asked me why I didn’t come with her at the dorm, I said “Ееh with you?”  Exactly. Girl understand it – I don’t want you. She even wanted me to out with her on Friday evening in Preevytip. ??? What do I look like to you? Get another fag. Even at the bus stop, the shameless stood with Melinda. I’ll find a male. Wait and see, I mean you’ll be blinded. Hear the explosion before your ears get disabled. I mean she surpasses Sarah T. in the negative sense. At least Sarah would understand.

We were separated in the bus. She probably got off at Mirobor’s, it was an excellent chance for me and the mines. The problem: Dean was already there. He called me, but the other passenger – Tara was waiting a phone response. At first there wasn’t a reply, but then she was told not to leave. Closer to the mines. I wished from God at least to see them. At 12:43, another taxi driver called me, I accepted. We were just 7 minutes away, but… it turned out the man and the woman the taxi driver expected to find in front of the Health home, were gone.
-Sorry guy.
He apologized twice and returned me. It’s in my favor.

Sitting on the little wall, a woman asked me if I had seen a woman there. She was saying:
-May God punish you. May your eyes not see.
I asked why she needed her, and got explanation that she gave the woman a bag to keep. She had groceries and sweater in it.
-If she doesn’t want at least she shouldn’t promise. Right?
She said and I recommended her to ask someone else.
-Nick? – It was Dean.
-They’re calling me.
-Go kid.
“Kid” 🙂

After the other passenger took something, from the taxi I assumed that the guy removing his green school bag on the square was Stanley.

There is always next time.

I feel especially sorry for the woman and I want God to bless them both.

[The continuation is based on my memories.]

maxresdefaultThe evening I asked several anonymous questions on Harold Donker’s Ask profile, a Facebook friend of mine. He didn’t answer who were gay in Zlox, instead he wanted the poster to write him on Facebook. I did it, but he didn’t know the answer and he was curious why I was interested about it, to which I told him some people considered to be one because I hang out with girls. Harold advised me not to care about it, stating it was my choice who to hang out with.

Barbara wrote to me as she has Internet at home now and asked me who else from Zlox studies in Stip.


About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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