Tuesday 11/09/2012

Finally, I was riding in the bus – in my dream. Like I joined them on the point where yesterday it surpassed us. The one I couldn’t recognise from the tractor was A.B.. I sat next to him. I was invisible. After 3 months and 23 days, the feeling was the same – three guys were sitting behind us and every moment I expected action which I didn’t get. Anyway, after we got off, Justin asked me why I hide. Surrounded with the “mines”, I asked Justin something but didn’t look at him not to feel hard when answering to me. Using the Brian’s rule I said:
-Di… you discriminate me.
I made an error and Brian blinked. I continued talking. I woke up. Even in a dream – the real me has need to release my energy.

I prayed for my socialization at the faculty, after it I saw a flock of swallows flying. I related it to the believer who after praying for having arms and legs, saw an eagle on the sky and took it as God smiling. God and the saints will help me, I shouldn’t doubt in myself. It WILL happen. My subconscience was changed, the conscience should be the easiest part.

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Grandma went at the clinic where she waited with Ethan. He was quiet, she was quiet, and she dared to ask him about his faculty. He asked about me and told that he’ll stay in Stip, not to bother himself. Grandma said if I got bored, I would stay too.

At 17:50, I received a message from Barbara: “Nikey if you are home…” I didn’t even want to read it. I went downstairs and complained mum who was preparing me zucchini. It was very natural to be nervous, considering that I wanted to get rid of her and Elaine since long time ago. I mean I hoped we’ll end in different classes starting from the third year, then I believed they’ll stop after the prom, but they didn’t. Elaine caused me many problems before I yanked her, Barbara doesn’t understand I wished she married soon. Mum recommended me to ignore her just like I haven’t read the message. Anyway Barbara came. We acted like we weren’t aware of her notice. She surprised us when she informed us she had a laptop! Stefche Yakimovski gave it to her father. She had no Internet, so she came at my house to copy songs from me.

News: An ex-crush of hers died;
-It’s official – Elaine broke up with her boyfriend. She works in the same confection with Barbara, but in different department.
-They have a goat!
-Kathy and Renee went to faculty of security.
-Diana didn’t sign to anything. Financial reasons.
-Georgia could die when her mother covered with blanket her and the heater on the New Year’s Eve
-She took free 2 days from her job.

She asked me about Sarah’s faculty and after she found it out, she said:
-She’d fit for economic. If she recounts as she recounted in front of us… When she will stiffen eyebrows…
I just smiled. I shared the same opinion about Sarah with Barbara, so I didn’t understand it seriously.

After she brought the laptop, upstairs, she admitted she wanted to go in Skopje, but her father offered her laptop and Internet instead of it. So, next year she’s seriously planning to go there to study upper medical!

She copied some songs, but the battery went off and she couldn’t charge it. She’ll finish the job another time.

After her leaving, I didn’t feel bad. I upped my opinion about her and it’s growing.

I didn’t have Internet and I couldn’t find the reason for it.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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