Monday 10 09 2012

After my unconscious ejaculation for Mary’s sex appeal, another dream:

I was like in a school building, I saw Barbara who was in the room that associated me to the first year. I went there.

Later, after I returned a first year book, I was holding another first year book on a yard-like location where I was supposed to cut pictures from it. However Sarah (school) told me I had to return it. It had a nostalgic meaning to me.

At grandma D.’s hall, I told grandma and Sammy about the event.
-Sammy were there ass-lickers in your class!?
-There were lots of them.
He counted to me 4, 1 of them was male.
-But you at least had male to  look for you (he was whispering sth to grandma, I couldn’t hear it, so I yelled louder not even she to hear it). At us Sarah first looked for herself, then for her female friends and the girls, and then for me.

I woke up.

Grandma R., dad and I went to the garden to bring branches. I allowed myself not to see the elementary school pupils, I didn’t allow not to see the mines. It was after 13:51 and I yelled dad:
-Dad, will you drive or not?

The bus surpassed the tractor. I was only able to recognise Marky. Home, right after my arrival, three high-school guys passed. I wasn’t sure if one of them was Stanley, but the skinny one was definitely Ducky. He looked at me and I was looking at him. It was very short, he stopped. Why? Was he afraid of my dad? But this is a rare time when I dared to look at him without hiding. Complete me. Or my eyes had that killing look again?
He to disappoint me too? … Who have I left?

On my second Facebook profile, this status was added:

If you want freely hate me, you don’t need a permission for that. Just don’t forget that everything that happens happens with reason and that I am as I am because I CAN handle it! Love you.

nickInspired by a limbless man story who found his peace in God. One day everything will be known. I feel a big gratitude towards the “mines” because they helped me and I learnt a lot from them. It’s their thing if they don’t accept it.

Mum informed me that my corset has arrived in Stip and that I should go to finish it, I refused. It’s not done yet? I understand a prehistoric method, but I don’t understand an anti-method.

Grandad came and then grandma after him. She advised me on the faculty I to talk with everyone and not to hide. When it came for buying food, she said:
-…With friends, females friends. You will go with them.
I am NOT repeating the same high-school mistake. If they imagine me like that, why don’t they marry me to a male?

Sarah’s report #6: They are finally guided by the weekly timetable. On their class lesson, some Macedonian professor explained them principles about high school organization. They were measured weight and height on Sport. Sarah is 167 cm and 47 kg.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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