Saturday 08.09.2012

I heard that Lester goes to Electro school. He said to Alex:
-It’s for computers. Electro… .
God gives me what I want.

grapes2My family and grandad went on our vineyard to pick grapes. There, the doctor (f.) called mum on her cell phone telling her that a priest from Lesnovo – father Isaiah was waiting for her in front of our house to go to inject to father Damascus. While we were arriving, I was wondering whether or not I should shake hands with him. I ran upstairs, before the priest entered. He sat in the yard, mum went to call the pharmacist to open the pharmacy in order to buy the injection, I spied through the window. Father Isaiah knew my name:
-Ah Nick was with you too. Does he help?
-Ah, (ironically) he helps. We take him with us. – What else can I expect from dad?
-OK, it’s important to teach himself. From little. – commented the priest.
-What I read in the Bible says ribs are broken from little.
-Yes. – without additional reference.
-I read in the summer gradually. (Self, self, self.)
-Let it be. Read one chapter every day from the New Testament.
-I read from the Old Testament.
-From the New one too.
-I am to the Book of Job now.
-From the New one read by one chapter.
-I have one there.
They went after it.
-Here, for example from 2 to 3. That is one chapter.
-Where is the New Testament from, I don’t know?
!?
-The New Testament… from the Gospels. Gospel of Matthew.
Someone very close to the area I thoroughly dedicated myself the past year was in my house and I was negatively energized. How many times do I have to say I want the “villains” to know the worst version of me? My father didn’t see how much I’d work in the vineyard because I chose to pick with mum, not with him. I rested, but it was because I prefer the psychic work over the physical one. He reached the bottom at me and as the things are moving, he’ll quickly fall to that position at the others too. I am sorry for him, but I feel more sorry for those that have to stand him.
Then they discussed the weather and it’s affection to the river.
Priest: God will give. We need with prayer and with fasting.
Dad: We are believers.
No comment.
Grandad: The people are very mishaped.
That’s right. Like every moment I receive a confirmation that the people and the things I’ve chosen are the right ones. Both of them, dad and grandad saved themselves from cursing in front of the priest. Masks. For some people every day is like Halloween.They even get treats in a spiritual form.

Later dad wanted me to pound the spilled grapes.

Like the mental trauma he caused me wasn’t enough. In fact his father must have made him work a lot as an only boy, so he is carrying it on to me ‘cos he doesn’t want to be alone. He wants to rule over me, just like his father did with him. Isn’t it painful?

In the evening, wandering through a blog, I bumped on the word “durbing” (“дудлање”) (“durbers” to be exact). It was the word that Ducky said when he refused to call me to sit next to him. I googled it and discovered it means “blowjob”. And I had been relating it to “Doodle for Google”.

After a long time, mum, dad and I decided to out in the evening. In front of the gate with mum, I saw a guy on an approximate age with mine coming from “the opposite”, but I assumed it wasn’t one of the mines as they almost never walk alone. So, when dad came, I acted freely having a chewing gum in my mouth. When he surpassed us, he wasn’t looking at us, but his hair betrayed him that he was Al. He’s taller now. If I’d recognised him earlier I’d have hidden. Furthermore, a guy asked him:
-Al where are you going?
I didn’t hear the answer as I was thinking I couldn’t wait for me to explode. Many times I was at the edge. Why them, not me? We know each other, but we don’t say a thing. Is that normal? “I’ll start counting the days until I start with the lectures”.

M. joined us and my father said:
-Nick worked too, right?
-No comment. – I said.
One day everything will be revealed publicly. Some people think I don’t say sth to them because I don’t have what to. I wanted them to think that way. Bravo for me. The others usually show their best version in front of the other people and leave their flaws for theirselves. I did the opposite of that to make my inner self as good as possible. Some people are so obsessed with other people’s lives so much, that they don’t have a proper life.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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