Friday 17.08.2012

The police came at M.’s to investigate his case. He was given a choice: to sue Peter and get 500€ if he wins, or to forgive him. He chose the second option influenced by the begging of Peter’s wife earlier that day and the accused’s apology.

My newest Facebook friend had published a screenshot showing the approved Computer Science students in Stip. It had his name there. I got assured why he added me.

Himalayan-Blackberry-Fruit-editedIn the afternoon I, Sarah, mum, Marlyn and granddad went to pick blackberries.

In the evening, I went out with Sarah and mum. They decided to go to buy salt sticks and smoki from the shop, I decided to hide outside it, but Marsha was outside there waiting for someone. I made my mind to enter, but Sue my ex-Macedonian teacher was between the shop and us, so I went to hide, but mum made Sarah and her go back and I left with them.

In grandma’s hall I said that I was embarrassed from mum and Sarah. Then mum said I to walk with Sarah only. I said:
-Who walks with a cousin?

Sarah walks out with her friends in Preevytip.

-Go with your friends too. – Sarah, opposing me.
-I don’t have friends.
-Find them!
-I will.
-When?
-Next month. – I said quietly, but both of them heard me, mum was quiet after it, I assumed she was realising, probably realising my wish for male friends. However, she said:
-When Greg called you, why didn’t you want to go out with him?
-Did Greg call you? – Sarah asked me.
-He called me.
-Why didn’t you go with him?
-Because I don’t want with him.
-Well, use him. For hanging out.
But I want to stay away from the profane life. Having a past with Greg certainly doesn’t make things better. It would be the fake me. If I try with the real and oppose him about something, will he forbid others again to talk to me? Why would I spend my time?

I said I don’t want to use him (how selfish is using (Tag: sin)), simply, I gave up the topic.

When I showed interest in lying with granddad in the room, Sarah asked mum if the two of them will walk, winking her. I told about it to Sarah she first said she was blinking, then that she winked, but it wasn’t for it. She underestimated me:
-Sarah, decide on which side you are.
…Cause if I lose control I can gossip her secrets to her parents, she can do it the same to me. She knows my secrets, but not the deepest ones. Unlike hers, mine describe the real me a.k.a the best version of me. Simply, she isn’t mature enough.

She said “OK, … (sth)” I didn’t mark it as important, that’s why I don’t remember. We, three went out again.

Later, Sarah was at my home and mum asked who to walk her away, dad said “Let Nick walk her away”.
-You don’t interfere! – I said.

After I (with my decision) walked her away, mum asked me why I acted like that in front of dad, the real me said that he doesn’t need to come to us and make himself important.

– I, me, like you are proud…
-Thank you – he said ironically.
Stay with you “thank you”. Real people would appreciate my sincereness. It’s not my problem that he couldn’t understand.

I don’t understand this so-called religious life. Do these people don’t have an own self? They offend God calling themselves Christians and not living like ones. Let it be. The greater the evil is, the closer we are to the good. It’s their choice. They only do us favor for becoming closer to Him while praying for them. Love you!

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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