Thursday 14.08.2012

I and Dave passed each other by the square, but he didn’t see me. I dared: “Dave, hi”. He turned around me from behind and asked me how I was. And one more question I don’t remember because it was a dream.

In another dream I was in Germany, I was trying to pass some street game with obstacles. I passed it before, but I stopped at the most dangerous one: the snakes. At the turning, in front of them I entered in a house. There were an old lady with a friend of hers. We barelymany-snakes-wallpaper_615091583 talked as she didn’t know English. I asked her for name, she gave me a card saying that she’d give me the next time I come. I dared to pass the snakes moving when they were rarer, there were some around me too, but they were much smaller. Should I believe that snakes mean enemies?

Highly anticipated, the morning M. came on Facebook. Welcome back fake smiles. He left and grandma Gina and Dominic came. Within an hour M. came again to our house. Some Peter slapped him on the road as he has replaced him with a guy who threw a cucumber in his room at 3 o’clock some night. Peter wanted to throw a stone on M., but M.’s friends stopped him. Mum went to confront him for the offence in his house where she told him: “If he has done it, congratulations, but if he hasn’t done it, there is God”. If there is God to her, why she later called him retarded? I understand him: some people want revenge as soon as possible, I don’t support him though. Peter claimed to mum that the man whom he saw was Michael. M. called the police that was looking for a witness which was impossible to be found. M. left angrily, willing to sue him.

In the afternoon my mum left to go to her ex-roommate Zandra. On the road, she met Victoria who told her Ethan was going to sign in Civil Engineering and Design faculty in Stip. He wanted to stay there with Troy, Rob D.’s brother, but she didn’t let him as she wanted to “to conduct control over him” for studying as there was a danger of “he will find company”. He will apply with school matura? Btw, she still calls him “Ethie”.

After leaving the pharmacy, Sarah asked mum about my faculty choice. I was surprised to hear that she has decided to study Economy in Stip. A setback. My past can’t leave me alone. In Stip? The financial crisis must have stricken her family. Just like Grace (a relative) said to me “It’s what they say “in Skopje” then everyone will go in Stip.”

Even in the evening, a day before going to Stip, I was still undecided: Law, Computer Studies or English? The draw said English but… didn’t I reject it? Having the “fake me” mask removed, I don’t see my future in none of those vocations. I kind of want to work for or in the media. Host, actor, writer? However, I don’t allow my family to go that deep into myself.


About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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