Tuesday 24.07.2012

Morning surprise!

I slept at grandma’s. I was bored, so I peeked through the outside door. I got back and I heard:
-Nick why are you hiding?
I thought it was some woman who’s familiar with my peeking, so I decided to run, but her voice was Victoria – Ethan’s mum.
I had changed my attitude towards Ethan, but not towards her, as I never “bumped” to her on the road.
I appeared at the door. I figured out what to say.
-I have that kind of habit. – I was smiling.
I noticed she responded to my smile, so as soon as I realised she was smiling just because I was (not because it was funny to her or she was glad to see me), I hid my smile.
-What are you going to university?
I stopped looking at her.
-I don’t know yet, but I think I’m gonna sign English.
-Where? In Stip or in Skopje?
-In Stip. What about Ethan?
-He doesn’t know as well.
-There’s time, the enrolments are in August.
-I know they are in August. What are the others going to?
-Еh I don’t know.
-He was saying to me many others aren’t going to.
I felt grandma behind me, but I didn’t turn back.
-Eeh?
They were all full of plans, even Barbara and Elaine. But “when the egg comes to the ass…”
-The ones he asked weren’t going to go.
She showed “no” with her head. We looked each other speechlessly.
I recalled of Ethan’s failing to English, but it would’ve been uncomfortable to her if I had brought it.

Now, I should’ve saved the mime situation, but … how close was she to me? Did I trust her? Was it real or fake me? Ethan was certainly gonna be informed of our chat, we hadn’t spoken so long in years. (Although during our friendly era, she once said I had spoken a lot with her.)
-It’s better to go, otherwise what would we do? – I commented.
-Yeah. – She was leaving -Go to something, study.

Grandma wasn’t behind me anymore and I was embarrassed and smiled. Sarah said she heard everything.
I started outgoingly, but I wasn’t sure where we stood at. Certainly we were progressing, but had she forgiven me everything? How reserved was I supposed to be? Did changing my opinion about Ethan meant changing the opinion about her?
Anyway, I really appreciate her question about my unintentional hiding and it’s my decision to name her the next time we meet (but she hasn’t passed my trust test yet). I’m not afraid of meeting her anymore.

Btw wonder how would I react if this would have happened this time last year?

In the evening mum beat me ‘cos I looked and hid on the window while some girl laughed and waved me.
“I created you, I will destroy you.”

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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