When you miss someone seriously here’s what you do:
-You seek for him (her) in other people’s contours
-You forget the bad memories about the person
-You love him (her) even more
-You think of him (her) a lot.
In my past school year there were people who deserved putting them in front of me (in every sense) and people who from the non-Christian point of view weren’t even worth saying “I don’t care” about them.
From that little group of people that fits in the first selection, very special place for me have “the mines”.
Like I stated once, they were the ones who chose me first.
I wonder where were they the penultimate year.
Undoubtedly, there was interest from both sides. Despite not having realised my target, they had influenced me very positively. My evaluation about them wasn’t wrong unlike it was about E. – they ARE good souls with values appreciated by the current society (unfortunately some of them are misfitting).
Each one of them shined with a unique energy, so I decided to point out the special features of theirs divided into few categories:
-What will I remember them after;
-What will I miss from them;
-The most positive features they possessed;
-What will I take from them in my life
and I will include their most memorable moment to me.
IN GENERAL: His successful shots to belong with the others.
ABOUT ME: His efforts to find me place in the bus.
-MISS: Having someone who from time to time surprises with getting in touch with me.
-POSITIVE FEATURE: His serious access.
-TAKE FROM HIM: Not to let being underestimated.
-MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT WITH ME: At the moment it is when I sat with him and I was rushing to stand up, thinking he’d stand up and he was calming me down.
IN GENERAL: Being somewhat different from the others.
ABOUT ME: Being very interested about me.
-MISS: Having sb who would approve me, even if others dislike my behavior – he called me “legend”.
-POSITIVE FEATURE: His establishment in the gang.
-TAKE FROM HIM: His ways to find ways and to be not afraid to be a little different from my friend.
-MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: When I turned around in the bus and saw him holding his phone in order to memorize my number.
- Rob T. a.k.a. Top (my ex-classmate)
IN GENERAL: Being ALWAYS in the good mood and having a positive view to the world.
ABOUT ME: Treating me as he would like to be treated, being open despite my (seemingly or not) anti-sociality towards the others.
MISS: Having sb whose interactions or sights towards him will never disappoint me.
-POSITIVE FEATURE: Already told -his sincere smiles.
-TAKE FROM HIM: Not be afraid to get close to people I believe in.
-MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: It was during the last school week when he came and sat next to me on the waiting area. I don’t quite remember, but after a woman asked us some questions (we obviously didn’t or partially knew) I felt he feels me closer than the woman.
- Ted (a.k.a. Tid)
IN GENERAL: The football, the not-so-big involvement in the gang, and mostly by his gentleness.
ABOUT ME: We were never close, but he gave me some chances I to beat my (“)shame(”).
-MOST POSITIVE FEATURE OF HIS: His gentleness, an ability that is very highly appreciated in Christianity.
-TAKE FROM HIM: In my future situations in which I’d usually get angry, I’ll try to just remember his eyes, I’ll blink and it will pass.
-MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: I’d thought of our last one (Tag: pre-last school day), but it would be while he was sitting in front of me in the bus, he turned around, saw me and SMILED. I know to recognize when sb mocks me, this smile didn’t mean that. I MEAN sth to him, he was glad I was there. He loves me.
- Rob D.
IN GENERAL: The most distant member from “the mines”, a person who knows what he wants with high valuing of the quality friendship.
ABOUT ME: I will always remember him as the first person who was so open to say “FUCK YOU” to me.
-MISS: Having someone who when I don’t expect at all surprises me on a very positive way.
-MOST POSITIVE FEATURE: His outgoingness, fearlessness to be positive with others.
-TAKE FROM HIM: To know what I want.
-MMM: Of course, our most significant moment would be my most interesting riding in the past year, when the bus was full and only three more words: Him behind me.
IN GENERAL: A friendly person with a high level of testosterone. Huge DOTA fan
ABOUT ME: Tried to help me a lot, but kind of stepped back after he disliked my window hide and seek.
-MISS: Having someone who believes in me, despite the opinion of the others.
-MOST POSITIVE FEATURE: Objectiveness.
-TAKE FROM HIM: If I want to close to someone, I should approach him/her on issues he/she’s concerned of.
-MMM: It would be after he called me to sit next to him in the bus and said: “You will recover as well”.
IN GENERAL: Ducky’s best friend, calmed, on place, not much outgoing in the gang, a nice person.
ABOUT ME: Hideously showing his interest about me, not having negative feelings towards me, treating me fair, with understanding (Tag: “Brave boy”).
-MISS: His expectations from me (Tags: “Hey Nick”, “Close the window” “?”).
-MOST POSITIVE FEATURE: Calmness.
TAKE FROM HIM: Having faith in others (after analyzing they’re good), respect other opinions (specifically those that don’t concern me), never to disrupt happiness moving me.
-MMM: “How much is √3?”
IN GENERAL: A very objective child, loves to joke, adores to dare. Doesn’t refuse to take things in his hands, friendly.
ABOUT ME: I believe he was the first one (from the gang) to contact with me (Tag: Missed events); He was not afraid to talk to me; He not rarely gossiped me with his friends; I wonder why he started calling me Nucky. He was interested in me who eventually realized I’m gay despite my girls avoiding.
-MISS: His bravery.
-MOST POSITIVE FEATURE: His way of helping others so that the other person doesn’t feel humiliated.
-TAKE FROM HIM:
- Dynamic life
- Show interest to people I care about
-MMM: “What date was yesterday?”
IN GENERAL: His masculinity in every sight: his outgoingness in the gang, the advanced stage of love, the football, his respect towards girls, even the cursing … etc.
ABOUT ME: Secretly very interested about my behavior.
-MISS: Firmness, conviction.
-MOST POSITIVE FEATURE: Determination.
-TAKE FROM HIM: His rapport with his friends.
-MMM: It’s tough, but it’s when in the bus he called me to read “BART” and then he presented him to me.
- Ladies and gentlemen prepare for the deserved no. 1 place: Ducky
IN GENERAL: Very open, possessing communicative abilities, goodhearted, commenting the most important things about the other people, advice givable and of course, the period when I didn’t know his name I recognized him after his beard on the chin.
-ABOUT ME: My impression is that he was the most interested about me from the gang. I will remember his addresings towards me with modified voice. Probably he started calling me Nicky and brought my issue to his friends. I dislike what recently he got scared of my artificial strict sight. I guess the “mines” were less frequent in the last time because of it.
-MISS: (A.) Having someone who strongly wants me to belong where I am supposed to be; (B.) Not knowing his real name despite feeling him close.
-MOST POSITIVE FEATURE: His openness.
-TAKE FROM HIM: Having patience, understanding and strong wish to help sb of whom I’m sure where he/she should belong.
-MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: There were many bigger, more significant moments with him, but the one who fulfills me the most is definitely when he saw me after Sport in the geological building and told his classmates – “Nicky.” You have to feel it, to know it. (Among others MMs: when he sat with his friend next to me on the waiting area, when he didn’t want me to sit in the bus, when he told me it wasn’t raining, when he posted a comment on my Facebook photo…)
Currently, Ducky is the one I miss the most (not only from the mines but in general). The introduction of this text was especially dedicated to him. Ducky is the only one I haven’t seen since the ending of their school year, on the other side I’m happy he wasn’t left on examining. I believe God is preparing something big for our next encounter.
Officially, once more I admit being friend with the mines was another purpose I didn’t reach, but I can happily say I WAS the closest from all my previous ones. Without them my life would have been so different. This way they filled my soul with happiness I could’ve only imagined before. I allowed them to hurt me and I don’t regret for it, because I have deserved that pain. Because of them I am richer with spiritual happiness, experience and love. I just needed to be treated with love and multiply it back. They were few of the rare souls who believed in me, how could I possibly not believe in them? I wish many things with them and me would have been different, but I couldn’t entirely relax in front of them as there were other people watching who would have abused my eagerness to be close with others. I’m much richer with experience now and I (referring the real me) know how to deal with both types of people. Of course my memories’d’ve been vivider if I didn’t have to study for matura. And guess what –this isn’t the end with them: I have expectation from my next meeting with Ducky, maybe the gang will try to speak with me, from September probably sometimes we are gonna wait together (now with much less meaning) again for different buses and when I’ll have less lectures after I return we’ll ride in the same taxi… Nonetheless, I owe those guys a lot, I wanna find way via the real me to thank them. I still pray for them and I will always LOVE them.