22.06.2012, 23.06.2012

Friday 22.06.2012

Matura – 3/4 Philosophy

In the taxi, Sarah said told us some questions and answers were incorrect. I didn’t feel very ready because I haven’t remembered most definitions well.

In front of the school, I saw I was no. 2 in a group with Derek V. being no 3 (behind me).
In the classroom our supervisor was Seth, Monique sat in front of me, and behind Derek V. there was Barbara. I was concerned about the exam, but even if would’ve been bad, at the moment I didn’t have reason to be unhappy. It was a huge relief when Stacey told us that 40 questions are on encircling, and 20 with addition.

I saw the questions were easy. Derek and Barbara were bothering me but the professor said:
-Leave Nick now he to write for him, then if there is time he will tell you.
Nick who previously considered two hours wouldn’t be enough, now considered 60 minutes is totally enough having students like Barbara and Derek in the group. I could freely hear the answers to the few questions that I didn’t know from the others’ tellings. It wasn’t fair. Someone studied and wrote, someone other didn’t studied and wrote too. The second professor was Gillie. It couldn’t have been better. As I saw Monique telling to him she was done, I asked her to tell or confirm me 3 questions, (not to forget she had asked me before,) even offered to tell me more. She’s so good.

I went out second to last with the opinion that this examining was the best so far.

I was very cheerful when I got out and didn’t mind that I had to wait. Yolanda joined me and Elaine appeared as the last member for the taxi. She told me she passed Math AND Macedonian. While riding Yolanda asked her – “What faculty will you go to?” She said: -“I don’t know. They tell me to go to Stip if I go.” Noo. Continuing in Stip? Again? Her, her. Bad news. Boring. Boring. A disappointment. She asked if I carried my phone (which I didn’t (and it was better)), told me she had a new phone number (sponsored, sponsored) and she beeped me. She said that she had some news some news about her obviously
favourite singer Olivera Koceva (commented on FB, yep, like I really care, just being the
hated Fake me) and asked me to come at my place later. I blinked, I hadn’t been in the role for a while.

Bulgarian singer Olivera Koceva

Bulgarian singer Olivera Koceva

-If I come I’ll beep you.
Mistreatment even on a holiday. I have no peace. I got them like a sexually transmitted disease. No, they are more frequent than that. Will she ever stop?

It was 10:46 when she beeped, at 11:23 she ranged while I relaxed on my PC. So soon? She doesn’t even let me put the bite in my mouth, as I later said dad. It ranged longer. I took responsibility that I needed to answer. I did it, but she hung up.
-Dad, Elaine will come now she beeped me, let her.
-No. I’m not letting her.
I called mum, but she told me to text her that I was gonna rest. That “solution” sucked, I walked, I wanted to tell her “dad doesn’t let you” but mum deconvinved me.
-Don’t send anything.
But I answered.

I continued to complain dad. I felt the same like the previous evening when Sarah (on the phone) and Barbara contacted with me. For them it’s not a problem being seen occasionally hanging with the opposite gender because they are mostly closer with girls while with me IS (a big ONE!). I guess I was protesting because of it. And it hurts because part of those people who see us are people I care about. It distances me from them. What is your attitude?

I yelled at dad, even pretended to cry. “Why do they do not understand? Are those people? They are like crazy!”
I loudly climbed upstairs and through the window I saw Al standing near my house. Is this good, finding out about the real me? It’s initial phase between us, so “NO”, it’ll only make us more distant (afraid from me), but…

I decided to obey dad’s advice and to expel my frustrations on the river with him and granddad.

No response from my side, or one more plea from her.


Saturday 23 06 2012

Preparing for Geography.

In the evening, I was at my grandma’s. I was bored, so I opened the front door and saw the just passing Brian with a friend looking towards me. I hid. He stopped looking. He’d probably thought I wanted to leave, but I got shy from him. I had a second chance when he returned, I used it. Again he was looking at me, this time I looked at him holding my position and we kept looking each other ‘till he passed.
No word.


About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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