Thursday 14.06.2012

Billy and Dominic and my family were convincing me to eat as I went on Peter’s fasting since Monday connecting it with a diet of mine.
Of course, I didn’t step away from my principles.
…And something unusual: I was downstairs (in order to avoid the monotony upstairs) and just when I climbed up, Dominic said to me:
-I smelled your clothes.
Referring to my two pairs of shorts.
A.k.a shortened version of “And how do they smell?”

-And nothing.
He misunderstood me. Somehow Bill got the idea I to go on the playground to play basketball after they leave. On the tractor, (while imagining to be driver and passengers) just after I sat on the driver’s seat Dominic said sth ununderstandable to which Billy replied:
-It stinks.
He meant my crotch?
OK, it’s better when you know it. Later while Billy was tying his shoelaces and I was supposed to be dressing on a T-shirt, I overheard:
Billy: I’ll play alone against you, uncle and Nick cause it’s Nick’s first time.
Dominic: He is tall.
-He is tall, but he doesn’t have reflection.
What would people do just to rule over me -> they’d say use words I’d never use -> reflection.
God gave me chances to hear and I realised it: They gossip me. They are unaware that God listens to everything. Didn’t realize that by laughing at me, they humiliated their God. Ever since little they are learned to profane life. Bad from them.
From now… only the fake me for ‘em. (Yes, even at home.)
I won’t open about some serious concerning problem of mine to them. Only seemingly.

On the coming out mum revealed Billy I know basketball including “steps”. A spoiler too soon, I wish the deeds, not words to speak about me.

After much opposing from my side my mother to walk with me and waiting for Delia, and after the kids on the playground parted, I could finally start the game – and a score from the first time.
Once again, Res, non verbis.

OK, the teams were Billy and Dominic vs Zack and me.
I ignored the other playground players who didn’t stop coming. Delia joined periodically.
I didn’t show myself in a prefect light (although Zack was saying “Bravo”) – I rushed and I threw the ball too strong, so I more times missed than scored. However the final result was 10:7 (as I remember). We won.

Then after Zack went to entertain Dominic, Billy and I started new game. He won over me 5:3.
-Congratulations. – I said to him.
Absolutely no regrets. I didn’t try very hard to take the ball – besides if I had shown the real me now what will I explode later with?

I climbed on the stairs where mum and Delia were. I was afraid to look at the others. Mum told me that Ethan was there wearing a T-shirt:
-“Stop …” – she couldn’t read it.
logo-amsOf course it would be sponsored just like those AMS sportswears.
I thought Al must have been there but my analysis showed he wasn’t unless he’d been where Ethan was.

Some people simply shine and they interact with me when I at least expect. Suddenly Melanie came and sat next to me: That’s what a friend is called.
-You’ve come, Nikey.
-Hey Mel.
When I really rejoice to see someone, I say “Hey”.
-What are you doing?
-I’m waiting.
I said it quietly, she maybe didn’t hear me. I was waiting for Bill to want to leave.
-You played basketball?
-Did you see me?
-I saw you.
-Who were you with?
-I was with mum, then I saw… There’s nothing to do at home. Very boring.
-There isn’t, only on the Internet.
-Only on the Internet. Even that’s boring too, so I went out.
I freely added comments as I highly appreciated her friendly gesture.

-How did the matura go?
-Did you cheat?
-Uh-Um. …
-I cheated too.
-Now just these internal ones.
-Melly what are you? – mum got involved.
-Philosophy and Geography.
Mum: Aaah you too. Did you start studying?
-I learnt half of them Geography.
Mum said: Well bravo.
I had it on my mind before she said it. Why could mum say and I couldn’t?
I caught up. She nodded.
-I had learned them since before when we finished.

-What are you planning to enroll to about faculty?
-I don’t know yet. I’m thinking.
-Didn’t you want Law?
-Aаh I changed my mind.
-Now what do you want to?
-I don’t know. Maybe Computer Studies or to Pharmacy, they would pay more money.
-You are good at Computer Studies.
-What about you?
She is one of only of the rare people, I show the real me to, I dared.
-I don’t know. I want Italian.
-That’s nice.

As a lighting from an open sky Ethan came and touched his hand with hers, I pretended I didn’t see (and logically he didn’t do it with me).
Never mind, he partially had her bodily, I had her spiritually.

She said Marcus (Marky) plays basketball well. I agreed.
Soon, the themes between us got wasted and Delia took over asking her to what was enrolled her sister. Mum asked her about faculty. Marky came and sat next to her. Uuuh, I got competition, but he stopped being one, just after two seconds – I gave up voluntarily.
They spoke sth, about holiday.

When I stood up to leave I said:
-Come on Mel, bye.
Marky was looking at me.
-Come on Nikey see you. Will you came again?
-I’ll see. – the best version of “I don’t know”. – Another time.
-Well you come at his place sometime too. – mum said.
-I will.
I was happy because I have real friend.

In the evening, home, inspired by the day I wrote on Ni Ck:
Not only from last century, the human relations nowadays are worse than the primitivism! I feel sorry for the people who gossip me behind my back while I just go ahead. Just to know I can do it better than them, but I know that this is the right way. All honors for those who with and without smiles transfer positive energy to me. I love you.


About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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