Saturday 19 05 2012

I started to read my diary to Sarah (cousin). She was satisfied. Btw she commented that even if I and Ethan reconciled – it would have been like in a relationship – it wouldn’t have been the same. I realized I was much more sensitive then than now. What a progress during almost one year.

At grandma Debra’s Sarah advised me about me and the faculty.

She thinks there’s no way for me to form a friendship with a male in Zlox now, as they know me. Well I’d love to, but there are good souls in other places as well, they aren’t unique like God.

She recommended me not to go on faculty in Stip or Preevytip, because she wanted me to stay in a dorm where I can easily make friends. She wanted I to sit at a male, she told me – not to fast, – supported me in deactivating my actual Facebook profile, advised me – not to curse and estimated to invite my future friends in the third year.

-In a word, in what light to introduce myself?
-In the best.

toilet_flushing_5Now about the staying aside, the biggest problem is… going to toilet. It just doesn’t go. And she imagined I to put a toilet paper on the WC pan, so my roommate not to distinguish that I sit. I’m not doing it.

She considered that it’s gonna be hard for me only for the first three weeks, but if I allow myself to go, these are gonna be the hardest three weeks of my life, so NO.

Maxi Barcelonista offered FB friendship to Sarah – similar situation like Ethan’s. – She accepted after I told her he’s my ex-friend Brian’s brother.

2 - CopyIn the evening Barbara passed by our place carrying a cake giving by her aunt. She thought Sarah won the best student choice (socio) because of her connections. – “Who loves her? Everybody said “Nick should have been chosen” … Nick has stayed at home to study, while she did pleasures to herself. … But she with Adele are (approaching her index fingers) like ass and underwear.”

All right, they convinced me. There is a political background to the process. Confirmed: Sarah asked Mary where the psychologist knows her from because she wanted Sarah to be, plus when we went to return the report cards at Tim’s, the principal was there and she said: “Principal have some, I heard you were for me too.” For her? Well he and the psychologist are the least competent along with Willy to advocate.

Sarah didn’t launch an initiative by herself she to be chosen (as my dad thinks – phone call), but the connections (meaning: friendliness and belonging to a particular political party do their job. You know what? I had the chance to be from VMRO, I could give blood (in the obsolete facilities) but it simply wasn’t MY purpose. My purpose was all my grades to be A’s and I reached it. And my class unanimously proves that my effort is appreciated even more than enough (enough to me are just the grades). To be real: only when the professor closes the door from the classroom knows who the best is. All the rest are just fantasies. God doesn’t make this choice.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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