Tuesday 15.05.2012

While walking in the bus Dave sitting said “Aaa” to me. We looked at each other. I don’t have to tell you I stood up.
They are using the fact it’s last week to get the expenditures lower. But the company (Gogo trans) still gets the same money for it. It’s a sin and legally not allowed.

When the bus arrived Marcus wanted I to give him advance.
-Wait a bit Nick we to get out.
-Don’t wait. Go Nick. – said A.B. sitting next to him.
I went.
-God forbid.

In school I handed my report cards along with my statement.

On Macedonian I had a total of 21 As for this year in the professor’s notebook accompanied with the comment “The most standardly” by his side.

I bought myself Bruschette Maretti.

On business Sarah asked me if (the photographer) Kocho was afraid of her because he made her free photos to correct his mistake, I said:
-Yes, I think.
-“Yes, I think”, he says. – She told the professor.
-Cause you set yourself like that.
-Cause I  set myself like that.
-That what is negative, you say it openly.
-That what is negative I said openly.And what else?
-Nothing else.
The professor, Sarah and I smiled.
-“Yes, I think.”– Adele said.

Irene wanted to come with me to the Sport gum:
-Wait for me.
-They’ll see me with you. – I refused her.

On Sport Melanie and Miranda came next to me on the bench.
-You added Sally on Facebook. – Miranda.
-Who told you?
Sally told me.
-Did you write to her?
-What? – Melanie.
Melanie wanted to know and I approved Miranda to tell who she was.
-Beautiful girl. Write to her. – Melanie.
-Write to her, she will answer to you.
-I don’t want to.
-Why? – Melanie.
-I’m keeping myself on distance.
-What? – Melanie.
-I’m keeping myself on distance.
-Why? – Miranda.
-Maybe she doesn’t love me. I don’t want to care.
-Try, write to her.
-Maybe she loves me as a friend.
-Well you will ask her as a friend first too. – Miranda.
-I’m afraid.
-What are you afraid of? – Melanie.
-Of failure.
Wasn’t I afraid from God only? Only when it comes to certain beings.
-Of what?
-Of failure (with a smile). – I started to act like Ethan?
-Eh of failure. If you don’t try you won’t know. Isn’t it like that?
-You added her, now she’ll write.
-You will see by the answers. – Melanie.
-I don’t know.

When they left, Irene came:
-Why don’t you want them to see you with me? Not to think we are in a relationship. That’s why?
-I don’t want to tell you.
I didn’t want to say: “You are a female, I want to be seen with males.”
-Why you don’t wanna tell me? Tell me. It’s about me.
-Tell now.
-I serve you for company only.
-Well to go together.
-And then you’ll be closer to someone else again.
-Tell now you’re always sincere.
-Because you are close to me I can reject you, and others not. Let’s say Sarah. I can’t reject her because I’m not so close to her.
-And if you could, you wouldn’t go with her.
I didn’t give an answer. The correct was: It depends of the purpose. If it’s something she to help me, then I’ll walk.
-Eh what, if she sees Tiffany she’ll continue with her and then I’ll drag myself after them.
-Tell me why now when you started.
-Because you belong to something.
-To what? Am I stupid?
-I just can’t think about you that you’re stupid.It’s not about that.
-What is it about?Give me association.
-Here that what I say about in a relationship.That’s the biggest association.
-Am I your crush?
-No (with a smile). Cause you belong to the female gender.
-Aaa. OK.

I want to have more male friends, at least for the new people I care about (Brian, Fred, Sally) and I considered it’s better they to see me alone than with a girl. (Conclusion: Gay.)
In fact I did see Fred in the hall when I was coming out with Melanie. They did a high five. And I realized their friendship is based on standing in the hall.

On English Molly drank Sprite as Darryl and Derek V. allowed themselves to drink on the lesson. I love it.

Sally winked me.

On Economy when moving to the right side of the diary, Adele said:
-Come on Nick.
Because I was on duty. Wow!
-Come on. – I said smilingly and started telling the absent ones.


Jasmine and Savash, stars of “Aşk ve Ceza”, a Turkish TV series

In the bus I sat in front of Marcus and Andy, behind me sat Derr and Brian and Elaine spoiled my hopes sitting next to me. She leaned on me.
-Do you mind?
-No, I don’t mind you.
-You’re like Jasmine and Savash. – Andy got involved. What people won’t do because of popularity.
-Well right? Jasmine and Savash are like that.
-Nick who is your partner? – Marcus on Pigs asked.
-Where from?
-From Colnville.
-What did you buy her?
Ооо, endangering the  territory, Andy?
-I didn’t.
-And did you buy something for you?
-No. Аа about clothes I did.
Ah that question. Why do they always ask me that?
-Pants black, shirt white, jacket black.
-Not saco?
-And shoes?
-Translate. – Brian said it.
He cared. Well he can ask me, I won’t even judge him, not make something to him.
-Hey enough. – Elaine put a closure of the freedom of speech.
Did she know him to be rude with him? I looked towards her and saw Derr and Brian were close to the front. They are interested.
-… I’ll come to see.OK?
-What’s your number?
-I don’t know it.
Here comes the surprise: I saw Derr held his phone. He wanted my telephone number and I should just know: 072240053. It means to me.
-You have me.
-I haven’t memorized you.
She didn’t lean again.

Home I developed a fantasy about what they might have asked me: “Marriage is a community between a man and a woman, nothing more nor less.”


About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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