Friday 11 05 2012

Street – place used by people to satisfy their needs. How do we act at the street?

On the waiting area when the bus was going to turn the turning and when I was going towards it, Dave and A.B. were behind me.
bg_img_3-Nick they’ll wallop you. Run away they’ll wallop you.– Said Dave to me.
-Show him light. – A.B. made it more interesting.
-There isn’t light.
I smiled (to show their comment means to me), Dave smiled (more than me) too. I even later realized that he didn’t mean the bus to scare me, but himself alone.

In the bus Barbara again found a place for me next to Marcus (mute).
-Marcus sits forward. Let Nick sit!

The bus arrived and… I rushed to stand up, Dave again:
– They’ll wallop you. They’ll wallop you.
Brian was saying something. I turned around. He was looking at me, but he stopped talking. I didn’t realize what he said. He then looked at Dave and told him:
-I’m telling him…
I could hear, it was meant not to be, he got shy.
Noo, my smile didn’t mean shame, it means happiness for choosing me.
I simply couldn’t choose to hide it. Obviously I longed it so much.We didn’t understood each other.

I missed the way, instead of going to the gym, I went towards my classroom. Even when I saw Sarah going with the dairy, I realized I was wrong. I went back, passed around Brian and Zack and heard one of them saying:
-Lost. (about me)
Knowing our past, it was Brian. Well, of course it is not wonder being lost because I thought of him paying attention to me in the bus. What did he want to say? No, what he said?

On Economy, I was sitting alone in my row and finally I got a situation with the right treatment from Adele:
-Nick where are the others around you?
-They are gone. – As little child, but I love it.
-They are gone? – In her style.
-Andrea went behind, and Sarah and Tiffany…
-Andrea why are you sitting behind?
She interrupted me.
She put the grades in the diary for the rest of the lesson.

We did a formal written work French and I cheated rewriting from Collins’s one. So, what, it was allowed.

Many students left the school not finishing the fifth lesson and on the break we remained only Mary, Andrea, Darryl, Ethan, Francis, Miranda and I.
Frances wanted me to go home I said:
-What am I gonna do at home? I’m home all the time. At least here with you.
They all left. None of them was in the hall. Sally saw me and waved me. I went to her.
-Nick what are you doing?
-Here I’m looking for someone from my class.
-Go upstairs.
-They must have left. … You study here?
I returned in the classroom. What to do alone? I saw the Macedonian professor was smoking and was planning to stop him and ask him will we have lesson while he was returning. My plan was interfered by the straight haired Miranda’s friend who came in the classroom, so when the professor passed, saw me explaining to her.

Time came. He entered.
-What’s this? Where are they others?
-They left.
-What did you have before?
-You had it?
-Not completely.
He sat.
-What do we do now?
-I don’t know.
He put down all the absent unfreed students on a piece of paper.
He decided to stay.
01He telling interactively, he even asked me “Do you sometimes make grill at home?” to which I responded “Sometimes” when discussing our dialect form for “coal”.
The problem for my obscurity on the other lessons wasn’t the strictness of the professor, it was the personalities of the other students. He told me not to stand when I did the exercises and analyzed the text. He allowed the lesson to finish earlier and asked me where the others from Zlox were.
When I got out I was very happy, I have someone who is close to me, I showed him the real me. On the waiting area I passed away with Ted, Stanley and somebody else. Ted looked at me and unusually Stanley said:
-Hey Nick.
Then I quietly said:
He probably hasn’t heard me.

In the bus I sat behind Andrea alone and she asked me:
-Did you have Macedonian?
-Yes. I alone.
-Eh how just with you? What did you do?
-About the northern dialects.
-Aii. (smiling) And how come?
She told it to Ethan and Christine sitting in front of her.
Christine and her friend Kimberly smiled.
-That’s a crazy thing. – said Ethan.
-That professor must be insane when he did like that. – Andrea commented.
-They had what to talk about.
For your information we had (and you should wonder why I don’t have what to talk to you).
Andrea said:
-Nick you shouldn’t do that, everyone will hate you. I mean I already do.
-OK. – I said.
I won’t love you less.
Then out of nowhere… from behind somebody touched me, I thought it was a prank from one of them. I turned around. It was A.B. who told me:
-If you want open the window.
I stood up, tried to do it but I couldn’t.
-It won’t.
-OK. – he said.
I tried with both hands.
I pulled myself back.

On the twilight, a little before seven o’clock, I went out to walk with my parents. On the road opposite grandma Gina’s house, I saw Dave standing with two friends of his. He saw me too. How should I react surrounded with my parents? I looked with my eyes at him. He has stopped looking at me.
-Do you want sunflowers now or later? – asked mum.
-Whatever. – In a situation like a like this it matters at least.
-Then later – Me.
Further we met Brian coming also on the other side of the road (just it was late) and I assumed he had already seen me as he didn’t look at me when I saw him. I cared.
Will it be this way? In only five school days we are finishing and then we won’t even say “Hello”to each other?
Mum stayed at Marion’s for a haircut. I refused to go to grandma’s:
-We’ll lie on the couch.
-Will I lie with you only? Or with uncle?
It affected my mood.

When I returned home I told dad I won’t walk with them like that (meaning: without strong need) anymore.
-Because many people know you and I want to be known too! Did you get it?
I closed the door.


About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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