Tuesday 08-05-2012

While waiting for the bus someone from the back, where Brian and Derek Derr were, called me:
-Nicky.
I didn’t respond. I understood it as prank. If I turn around it would mean I’m sensitive, so he wouldn’t do it again.
-Hey Nick.
I couldn’t not react. I turned around. They laughed at me. So it WAS a prank. The voice was kind of closer to the one of A.B., but it might have been John. They know. Oh, what about Rob D.?
My grandad was there waiting for his pension. He came to me.
-Grandpa. – I smiled. We shook hands.
-Which bus rides you?
-The bus.
I could, but looking him all the time in eyes, just wasn’t the ME he know. I stopped it.
-Did you take the pension?
-I didn’t.
-Is this the bus?
-It isn’t.
As Christian I’m not allowed to hate people, but can hate certain things. And I HATE being alone.

In the bus I stood next to Brian.

In school on our first lesson, Philosophy, the sleepy Darryl answered and because he repeated every told whispered Mary’s word, I laughed.
-You’re making Nick laughs. He didn’t usually laugh.
So if I want…

On Business, as we delayed the business plan Darryl sat on Sarah’s place and chatted about his going to America with Tiffany:
-How are you planning plan to make it in America?
-I’m gonna enter in the (whispering) porn industry.
-…
-With a mask.
A mask?
After Darryl described his ideal wife-black, Tiffany asked me the question:
-Nick what kind of wife do you want to have?
I haven’t thought of it, plus the professor was listening.
-Why tell you? Why do I need to tell you? – I kept distanced.
-Why? Is it why I’m asking him?– Tiffany wanted to know.
-He says “Why do I need to tell you?”
-Aah well we’re chatting.
Darryl said he wanted a black girl, Adele commented it and I wondered what kind of wife I wanted to have. Well I want her to be a Christian with a good soul matching my age, possibly beautiful and about intelligence… if she isn’t we could use mine.

On Sport with the questions the professor asked me I got A and Sarah told me we won’t bring equipment anymore. Later when Tiffany passed next to me I got stressed.
-Why are you scared like that? –she said – Who beats you?
-Nobody beats me. (I was sexually abused.)
-I know that nobody beats you, why like that?
-I think you would do something to me.

On the break before English, I was staring towards the hall partially hiding behind the door. A dark girl with curly hair waved me. I waved her back. We did it two more times. When she and her friend left Miranda told me:
-Nick that girl got very rejoiced ‘cause you waved her.
-Where does she know me from?
-She doesn’t, she was rejoiced ‘cause you waved her.
-A talk if she wants too.
-А?
-A talk if she wants with me too.
-You want me to tell her?
-If she wants.
She went there and told her. They came with their straight-haired friend.
-What’s your name? – I asked her.
-Sally. What’s yours?
-Nick. Which year are you?
-Second.
-What do you study? Gymnasium?
-Gymnasium.
-What floor?
-Here. – She showed it, I looked there questionless.
-OK, I’ll go.
They left. Then I asked Miranda:
-Does she study sports gymnasium?
-No, but now they’re having a lesson there. Do you like her?
-Let’s say. – Not explicitly as I don’t want later to be used against me.
-She’s beautiful, she studies.
We entered.
-Find her on Facebook.
I found her: Sally Venable, but I didn’t want to add her. Do I need her? We aren’t close. Miranda told me she wasn’t her friend, but her cousin’s friend.

On Economy Lady Adele and Sarah and Mary discussed cute little kids and diet and said she is coming to Zlox tomorrow.

At the end of my waiting, John sat next to me asking me “Where are you?” and “Are you OK?”.

In the bus Elaine sat next to me after her “Nikey save it”.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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