Thursday 12.04.2012

Like Friday – as it was the last work day for the week.
There wasn’t where to sit in the bus as the students from Ratabitz were climbed. Somebody pulled me back. I thought it was somebody from “the opposite” to tell me where to sit. I turned around on the right side, from there I felt it the most. There was Brian, but didn’t react. I moved my head on the right – Dave who also didn’t say a thing. I realized it was a prank and I turned around. At least something…
On the way out E. was maybe hoping he would get in the line just before me showing it with raising the armrest of his seat. But I didn’t give him advantage. Imagine, I even unintentionally descended his armrest. He wanted the real me? He had it for free (though not unlimited).
On the big break in the market under the bank I wanted to buy myself a pastry with yellowcheese, but Francis stopped me from doing it saying it contained yellowcheese about bake-rolls-salt-80gwhich I thought it was lean as it was Great Thursday. I took salt-flavoured Bake Rolls, but in the classroom Irene told me “From the side it is written that it contains milk sediments”. Her friend from 4-1 Steven took the Bake Rolls and read the contents that said it might contain milk products. Might. He said he ate from them when he fasted, anyway.
-Eat them. – E. said. E. talked to me on a non-school issue? So the “OWN your own power” rule always works.
-I don’t know. – I replied him.
I put them in my bag and drank the juice. God was more important to me.
-Nick did you eat? – Frances asked me when she came.
-I didn’t.
-Why?
-I don’t know if they are lean.
-Let me see.
She read.
-Peanut oil. Did that confused you?
Apparently on the contents in Macedonian there wasn’t “milk products”, so I ate them and I decided not to be shy for another time if I want to buy something that costs less like smoki or crisps.
On Management (and previously Business) I noticed Adele looked at me while she was retelling the lesson. Progress. How did it occur to her? I want it. I want she to treat me normally as she treats the others. I guess this is similar with the fake and the real me.
After English we were given our photos as graduates. Some of the students weren’t happy with them.
On Sport, that we actually didn’t have, only the professor put us grades, E. asked me:
-Nick will you go with taxi?
As we were finishing earlier after he and Diana were looking for someone to join them.
-No. – I said.
No, because we didn’t actually have 5 lessons and no because of… the bus.
-Why not? Because you don’t have money? – said Irene.
-No, I have, but I don’t want to spend them.
-Where will you go?
-I’ll wait. – I said.
On the leaving Elaine called me to exchange pictures. Of course I gave her, but Cassandra (who posed in Kratovo) wanted one too. I gave her, after I asked one from her, she said she’d give me one on Tuesday, after I asked “You aren’t lying to me?” – The real me. “No” – she said. Go real.
And while walking Andrea who was having coffee in “Black and white” with Virginia, Denise and two unknown male characters, invited me:
-Nick come with us.
-No.
-Why not? Come. – Virginia said.
-There are others too. – I replied quietly and kept walking. Own YOUR own power?
On the walking area… I was sitting alone. I saw where “that gang” goes when they have six lessons – on the handball playground. As the little wall was filling up with students, I wondered why didn’t anybody sit next to me? Why didn’t I sit righter? Because I chose the light – not the shadow. I chose God. Al from Ratabitz sat with Marcus N. like one or two places left from me and later Ted filled that gap. And on the right side that guy from Ratabitz perhaps Kirby who came with Stanley asked me:
-Is this yours? – referring on the bag next to me.
-It’s mine. – I said and I pulled it towards me.
-No, it’s mine. – Stanley replied to him ironically.
They sat. Stanley told Ted that on Maths Ducky put his leg on the desk and said to the student in front of him to turn around. He turned facing Ducky’s trainer.
It was a pleasure to me, but they didn’t ask me anything anymore. Shortly after, Ted stood.
In the bus I sat alone.
Home – the typical – the Internet.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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