Thursday 29.03.2012

Pretty promising!
In the morning after I went out of home and started going Elaine called me. She told me about her Business answering. She wanted we to wait distanced from the other guys, but I kept going my way and stood next to the pole as usual. She stood in front of me, then turned around and asked me:
-What will you wear for the photo?
-Shirt – I said.
-What kind of?
-I was looking her in the eyes (Brian’s rule), and said quietly:
-Black. – while moving back.
-Don’t be shy – she said.
It wasn’t black, but white with blue stripes. Once again I lied. But the lie didn’t matter much to me, as I was concerned about the reaction of the students from that gang. She didn’t say anything to me anymore and I think they were looking at me. I just wish some things didn’t happen at all. Barbara came and asked me:
-Nikey where are you?
But I didn’t listen to her on time to respond. Then again I entered just after Brian as he put his arm on the girl in front of me. Inside I stood up again, but I think Stanley stood up too.
On the way out while walking Marcus on the Pigs said:
-Wait a bit Nick.
He stood up, Brian stood up too. Just like yesterday, me behind him. It went on even when we climbed off the bus, not coincidently there was a car in front of us. Only I couldn’t dare to get equal with him. Two consecutive days twice behind him. – God did it.
At school on Business again the professor chose my book to ask questions from:
-Can I take the book for a while?
-Yes.
She returned me the book without saying anything. Progress – No formality.
I repented I didn’t buy food on the big break – I wondered if it’s a fast day today as Mary asked Sarah: “Do you fast?” I’m sorry I don’t know all the holidays.
Irene and Diana were talking something, then Irene said:
-I’ll delete them… Nick will check on Facebook immediately. Not immediately, when he gets home.
I opened Irene’s FB profile in school (thanks to AlwaysOnPC), Irene saw it, but I saw nothing I shouldn’t see. She was surprised and Diana said to me:
-It is private.
[Irene wanted I to like her FB profile photo.
-It should be sincere – I said.
-Don’t you like it?
-I don’t like it too much, but not that I don’t like it.
-OK, not too much.]
I had no comment at all and I planned not have here, but c’mon I’m Christian, I’m in a good mood, arrogance is a sin…
It is not private. It’s her and Mark Zuckerberg’s. I can see it too because she shared her profile with me. I did not hear what was it about at all, but the stereotypical Irene couldn’t resist to think I would care about her FB mistakes. Let ‘em think. God knows everything. We can only pray for those souls to find the right way.
I saw a link on her profile about the new Carrie Bradshaw and opened it.
-Femina is a site for females. – Irene said.logo
Then I surprised the present ones in the classroom.
-Will you forbid me?
I showed her a pamphlet of the real me because she was sincere towards me. (However just a pamphlet because she is closer to Darryl.)
-Oo. – Francis commented.
-I won’t forbid you, I just say it is for females.
-He wants to find out about females – Francis said.
I: It is open for everybody.
-What did he say? – unknown.
-It is open for everybody.
Minutes later when Francis was returning to her place (maybe from throwing sth) she looked at me after she passed me by and returned:
-Nick what are you doing?
-Nothing. I don’t have what to do.
-Are you OK?
-Yes.
-What will you wear for the photo?
-Shirt.
Kathy II called her. So the rule “Own your own POWER” works. I’m higher rated. But I won’t use it to her no more. The fact that I forgave “Will you be like Nick” to her doesn’t mean I will forgive her personality.
Later I looked Irene seriously and she hugged me for it.
Before Sport Irene looked me seriously and Darryl said:
-Why do you look the kid that way?
She wanted to knock him out on his crotch. I explained Irene I don’t want to be seen with her because of her gender, not because of her personality.
On sport I expected Ethan to pass me the ball when it “escaped”, but he didn’t. Derek next to him did. <I was the first who showed distance>
I sat to wait for the bus and Darryl said to Derek:
-Sit there next to Nick.
He sat a place away from me. Big deal for the whole “event”. Derek and Darryl stood up. Kirby took Darryl’s place and A.B. was thinking whether to sit between us. The bus was arriving. I climbed on the back door. I was going and Rob D. who sat on the very back seat touched me and said: “Come”. I continued walking, but it mattered. Another one sat there. “Sit”. I turned around and said:
-Should I come?
-Come – he said.
I sat in the middle. Happy. But then Rob said to me “Let’s not narrow ourselves sit there. (showing the descendable seat).
-OK?
-OK.
– Because not to narrow ourselves. Ducky descend the seat to him.
There was another seat in front of Sarah and Mary but… sometimes we don’t choose things because they are better, we chose other things because they are ours. I assume Ducky said “Nicky”. He did it. I sat there. They laughed. Ashley was next to me. At the end I confidently raised my arm to put my bag on and Stanley said “Brave boy”. Very. God gives me that confidence. I dare to do many things knowing I am not alone. Even if they hurt my body they can’t damage my soul.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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