Saturday 24th 03.2012

I did. I finally felt wanted.
In the morning my family and I went to the garden.
Home I saw the Devil when M. came.
Billy and Dominic came in the afternoon. This time Dominic passed his hand to make hello with me, but I couldn’t as I was eating. When you are Christian sometimes just a wish or thought is enough. Billy played GTA SA and Counter Strike and watched GTA SA videos while I andGTA_San_Andreas_Box_Art Dominic improvised boxing through the other rooms.
I taped Delia (their mother) on my cell phone and after mum tattled me, Delia got mad and wanted to leave. But it was delayed by the coming of the man who repaired our chairs who by the way (non-coincidently) went to school with her.
Billy, Dominic, and I played “21” on my balcony. Bill won with 12:7:5 for him vs me vs Dominic. In the yard we played “rock-paper-scissors” without and with flicks.
They showed their love towards me by inviting me to go to their house in Preevytip with them, after mum said “Will you call Nick at your place?” It was more than invitation. They begged me. I and mum went either to walk them either I to go with them. I responded with “I don’t know” or “I will see”. Dominic pulled me and they didn’t want to go to see their grandma Sandy, because of the possibility I to escape, so I entered to see her as well. Bill wanted to show me his basket and he said we would do what I want. In grandma Gina’s house Delia said she would put us to sleep upstairs on the big bed and Dominic said he would scratch my ass (although mum later claimed to be “back”) because I wasn’t bathed. They wanted me to stay until 12 a.m.. I had to decide and even though I was more for the option not to go, at a moment it was all the same to me. Why not?
1. The presence of their father. Almost everytime I went in their house he wasn’t there and I was with mum and someone else.
#2. The sleeping: My down part pajamas had a stain of sperm on them as I don’t masturbate, caused while sleeping.
No. 3. The studying: I wasn’t asked Logic.
Why yes?
To indulge them. Finally someone wanted me and it would be bad if I let them down.
What did I have? I was myself. I respected the rules of the game and tried to dedicate attention to them. Later mum said it was because I obeyed them.
They reminded me of wanting my mum’s colleague Liza and I begged her to come. She always had some special present and even slept at our home.
Delia was also my beloved companion when I was a little. These kids reminded me of me that age only they were much more polite.
195-580x402 - CopyI remember wearing Delia’s wreath for hair, landing book of hers, even kissing her (on her cheek) before she got married. In August 2001, the day there was a solar eclipse, she came after 5 o’clock on my demand and we ate vanilla flavored ice cream. Good times.
I asked mum and she said to go another day, which I wanted to in the summer but all of them wanted soon like next week.
Delia convinced Billy I not to go there, but I promised to come next week. I disappointed them. Do they love me less now?
In the evening around 9 o’clock Delia wrote to me on Facebook that Billy and Dominic went to bed and that I should come. She wrote “They love you very much” after what I wrote “I love them too”, but obviously not as they loved me. And she sent me a Youtube link as a song for good night.
Mum commented she didn’t guess it to me because I hate Serbian songs, but the fact that the song dedicated to me comes from the heart makes me love it.

I love them.


About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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