Tuesday 13.03.2012

In the bus Marcus on the Pigs said to me:
-Sit next to Monique. Next to the fat one.
“The fat one” – He knew I didn’t know some of the passengers’ names? A good explanation, but she had her bag put on next to her after I made a few steps.
– He didn’t hear you. – said A.B. behind him.
-He heard me. – said Marcus the Pig. I was four years with him (in the same class) in primary school.
-Let him fuck his mother.
Translated as “I don’t care”. But, wait, if I am gay (according to them) how could I …?
I kept standing.
I was asked Philosophy. I didn’t do very well, but it could have been worse. I think the professor put me 45.
I wasn’t asked Business.
Elaine wanted to come at my place after school, but I refused her for staying in Preevytip on training.
After lesson I and Sarah did the rest of our English homework and we were late on the training because of her. “Next time try not to be late” – said the professor who saw me with a girl.
When the teacher asked about homework nobody said to have it. Sarah had from 3 movies, I was shy to extinguish, even though S.P. said me to.
Marcus told us to separate an evening (not to go out) for the movies and I thought: “Why don’t you separate an evening not to have sex?”
On Macedonian, we were only me, Sarah, Tiffany, Irene and a guest Melanie.
We finished earlier and Sarah planned we to go to Zlox with her uncle Tom who didn’t speak with dad since faculty and was argued with mum’s family about property (despite being relatives). I disliked the idea.
-I don’t even have that money (70). – said Sarah.
She speaks about her herself? All right I wanted to go on foot, but I didn’t say it. I did later while waiting for him after what she said to me:
-You are not …
She couldn’t dare to say “normal”.
Her censorship only makes her lower in my valuation for her. It was the most radical choice to obey her. God why Barbara was absent? “You don’t know him. You will see he is nice.” – Sarah said to me. Tom came and I hoped Sarah’s mother told him I was with her. Sarah said:
-… only I and Nick are from Zlox.
Tom: Nick isn’t fourth year.
Sarah: He is.
Tom: Are you fourth?
Nick: I AM fourth.
Tom: You are fourth?
Nick: Yes.
And loved it … what he didn’t care about me before then. I mean I don’t like when people 42610are interested and gossip about other people who are distant to them. Hence I guess he had no prejudices about me. (tag: homosexuality) When I sat from the back I risked breaking 2 laths he had for his new flat that he and Sarah later visited: “You will wait for a minute”. He WAS a good man. In the end I asked him:
-How much does it need?
-It doesn’t need. Go.
-Thanks a lot.
I was shy to look back as I usually do.
I made my decision: I won’t go to those trainings anymore (This + Mary). The only condition needed was: To copy Sarah’s notebook in the end.


About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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