Thursday 08.03.2012

8th of March. Day of the women. Was I considered to be one? Here’s a situation, you decide:
In the morning you know, while waiting the students from that gang were talking about the holiday and then:
-What are we going to buy to this gay?
I think it was Dave and I didn’t have to look at them to find out who it was about. It was about me.
-A machine for shaving or … (I couldn’t hear)
continuum01Couldn’t be funnier. Even I stretched my lips. (They do notice things and they are not afraid from me hearing them although they are not explicit) Does it hurt? I guess it does (a little), but it was overshadowed by the fact that now I know what they think of me and that they would actually buy something to me. I’m sorry, I’m not a woman. I had my holiday on 2.2.. I’m gay according to them. Better buy something to your mothers.
… In school after the second lesson the door was left opened and I stood up to close it. E. was coming from the opposite side and said to me:
-Nick I’ll close it.
I was asked on Logic and Maths, and on Management no one was prepared (the girls left it the boys) so as I being a male the professor asked me:
-Nick did you study?
-I studied, but I’m not sure.
She stopped looking at me.
-You are not sure.
100% in her style. She started to treat me like everyone else? (After seeing me with Sarah and Mary on the stairs.)
She didn’t interrogate anyone on that lesson.
After the lessons I waited in classroom, behind the old school’s fence. I was seriously hesitating whether to go on those trainings or not. “Will it be like this all the time?” I entered in the school after Barbara where I told her about my second thoughts. She said the trainings are good and that I should decide. Mary had her second time there and she begged me to sit with her. I didn’t want because I considered to already have a sitting partner, in the end she convinced me. I laughed. She was funny to me. That little moveable (meaning: doing repeated moves like shivering her leg or taking and leaving the laid pencil) creature who had a habit to talk about diet. And to be funnier she was chewing a gum which seemed to be moved only in the center of the mouth hollow.
-What? (She smiled a little)
-Don’t chew gum.
-Why? He notes that too?
I didn’t know which words it had, but I heard it was question.
-Yes.
She carried on.
I later smiled for her modern nails. I hid behind somebody, as the professor (not a one) not to see me. I realized my laughing as a sign that I should give up going …, but the Mary’s coming by itself meant I should continue. One more.
On Macedonian, Tara told us that her brother’s son hid his mother’s 8th of March present in the fridge and we started to learn grammar. We finished earlier. I was home at 5 o’clock.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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