Friday 24.02.2012

I assume you are part of an organization. Job, school, neighborhood, family. Have you ever felt like it was your day?
Standing in the bus doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing.
Standing, standing and… somebody from the back touched me. I turned around. It was David… He said:
-What date was yesterday?
I looked aside, then again at him.
-I don’t know – I said and turned around.
“What day was yesterday?” – I wondered. Thank God I was a Christian and it was 26th on Sunday, the Forgiveness day, also the Oscars were on Sunday 26th and the previous day, Diana who was number 23rd (in the Diary) was asked Math. So I was sure, I gained confidence and turned around looking towards him. You expected this from me? Eventually he looked at me. I said:
-Twenty-third.
-Yesterday?
-Yes.
It was over. I was happy. An instant mood change. God helps.
On Sport, or before Sport to be exact in the gym (as I go there earlier than the other guys), Derek asked me:
-Is the professor here?
-I haven’t seen him. – I said.
-What?
A nonchalant “I don’t know” followed by me. You know I stopped caring about the males from our class. The time when I was cheerful after every single contact with them is long gone. I can handle them for non-complete 3 months.
On the beginning of Economy Tiffany said to me:
-Nick, Andrea is gone. Put the jacket there. – referring to the space of the desk next to me.
I took the jacket.
-Tiffany – quietly said Adele smiling.
I know what was that smile for. It was because Tiffany broke the “rule” for not disturbing me. It was just something that the professor hadn’t seen. She obviously had wrong opinion about my personality. So what if Tiffany asked me for a small favour. We are friends. If I want someone to respect me, I have to respect that other. That’s how it goes. I want to be normal.
Now comes the part I started this day with. It was (so to say) John’s day. Read why:
I was walking down from school targeting the waiting area when John stopped me in front of the kiosk saying “Nicky come here”. It was on offer and my choice for accepting it. I did. We haven’t stood up together (Together) for long. I actually stood up next to the “Monkey” first, but he went to wait “at the bars”. We went under shadow, I mean in front of the “Stokovna”. And then you know his standard questions: “Are you OK?” and “How many lessons you had today” which was repeated. Then another question I was afraid of:
-What did you eat this morning?
I was ashamed. I went at “Zendolino” market with Sarah and Mary.
Me, not looking at him: Again Bruschette Maretti.
-A toast?
-Again that, Bruschette Maretti.
-Why don’t you buy yourself burek?burek
-Sometimes I don’t buy at all. I’m shy, they will push me away there.
-If you are shy like that you will stay hungry.
It was a full sentence dedicated to me for my own good. I had to ask some stuff about him:
-Where do you buy food from?
-Me?
What? Wondered? I like you. I consider you for my real friend. I’ll act as I think I should.
-Yes.
-There I buy from – showing downward.
After a while, after checking the clock on his phone he asked:
-Do you have a cell phone?
-I have.
-Why don’t you carry it at school?
-A button is broken down.
He said it was cold here, I said it was because of the wind and he suggested we to go on the opposite side. We went. Where Darryl, Derek and Ethan were. I wanted to smile, but were they really worth? I decided to ignore them. Feel them like the road. Only the colour was different and the 3-D shape. Thought: “You and I are finished story. ‘You’? I must check my list to see if those place fillers are written under the section “creatures”. Far from humans yet!” John stood next to Darryl and asked him:
-Doctor, how is it?
I don’t understand. Why John doesn’t choose one star or why couldn’t he simply … be the star? By star here I mean someone who is popular and the others stick to him. I mean who couldn’t speak about sex? One very important thing: I didn’t look at the other side. I didn’t want to avoid John. From all those people he chose me! It was ironic what I haven’t have call him by name yet. I wanted to make sure his name was John. I wanted to ask him but… why now? Why not even the first time? … and would have it been gay I said “Sorry”? I decided to put it. I DARED.
-Say something – he said.
-I want to ASK you something…
Unfortunately the new girl (I called it the “fat girl”) came then and I think they said something about cigarettes.
Was this a sign from God that I should never ask him that? It wasn’t important what profile they had, they had souls. The fat one first went behind us, then, she stood between us. I wonder “How did she get through?” She also served as protection to me when mum came back from work. It would have been illogical if mum saw me next to a male.
In the bus I sat on the movable seat and the Mandra said to me:
-Wait to descend it, my brother.
Somebody called me “brother”. I love it. But soon he moved at the very last seat.
In Zlox, on Desetski gumno, after the students went out of the back door I felt someone was pushing me to the front. I turned. It was Rob again.
-To descend it to you – he said.
One more proof for his goodness.
Home. M. came. Around 3:25 p.m. I went walking with my grandad along “the new road” again. On the way, I saw John coming out of the shop. He looked at me and waved. I just slightly rose up my hand to return to him. He walked in front of us until he stopped at the billiards. Surprisingly he didn’t enter immediately. Just as we passed opposite him, he shouted:
-Nicky!
I looked towards him and just said
-Mm?
I smiled, I think. Naturally it was expected I to say his name, but… who guarantees me he was John?
I asked grandad:
-What’s the name of that kid?
-I don’t know – he said.
Walking and walking and this time I said grandad to walk me to my home. I didn’t want a situation like the day before.
Later, Liza called me to inform me that there was some additional teaching for the senior students at the “Cultural center” (Preevytip) starting from 1st of March. She read it on Facebook via a narcissistic feminist who was marked by God to have a lifelong red shaggy hair whose initials are the first letter of “shit” and “piss”, who had deleted me from friends. I didn’t like the idea. I said:
-Why do you care about me?
-Who should I care for? – Liza said.
She told me to inquire, I told her “Only if they speak about it”. It was good to me to ride in the bus with the interesting guys and then it dawned to me the question: “NO MORE MORE INTERESTING BUS STORIES?”, as it seemed all the passengers were more gleeful to talk on the returning. No more more interesting bus stories, do you think?

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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