18.02.2012 – 20.02.2012

Saturday 18.02.2012

I went for a walk with my grandad and dad. At the start I saw 3 … of that gang. They were walking along the lower road. There was Albert B.. I took my glance off of them. I ashamed myself. I wanted them to say something to me, they didn’t. I wanted to smile.
I won’t write about Michael’s comings on Saturday. Around 4 o’clock I looked through the window and saw 2 not very tall guys of who one waved me. I didn’t return him. I hid.

Sunday 19.02.2012

I saw the Devil even 3 times. I can imagine how happy I would have been if this had happened last summer. In the morning I was amazed to see that the person who shook hands with Jizzy was the Devil. I was writing compositions about the Macedonian written work, then I made a pause going with mum to make pastramajlii. On the road – the Devil. I was shy to look at him. On the way back while mum and I were standing with grandma Debra, (her friend) Zoe and (a relative) Gerald – the Devil was coming again. I urged mum to go home. We started. He looked at me. Shortly. He obviously had the same opinion about me. And I about him? Well, the opinion is still the same – a guy with a good personality (in a serious relationship, friendly, modern, outgoing, a football lover), but the wish of being closer to him is maximally reduced. Do I regret? Well, I do regret about sexually staring at him, but I wasn’t that close to God then and I regret for wanting him so much. I mean – he was my first choice when it comes to having friend and we were at least 6 years generation distance with no similar interests. However I am richer for an experience. And I still don’t mind seeing him occasionally.
The rest of the day – writing the rest of the compositions.

Monday 20-02-2012

The bus in Preevytip arrived earlier and I finally had the opportunity to sit next to the window, not on the movable seat. Most of that gang’s members had a 7th lesson and when they arrived most of the seats were busy. Ducky said “I’ll sit next to Nicky”. Thank you. I’m glad you chose me.
The student who sat behind him suggested him to:
-Ask him some task, definition.
I don’t know why those guys think I know a lot of that what we learn at school. I study and I forget. I want them to ask me about life. Enough about school.
And then… I figured about where “Nicky” might have come from. It was in the moment when Ducky asked Brian where he would get off. He addressed him with “Bricky”.
So it was him – Ducky – the most communicative kid from the gang. It’s a pity I don’t have him on Facebook. I’m figuring these things out. I am!

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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