27.01.2012 – 29.01.2012

Friday – 27.01.2012

Mary: It’s cold. Go on the heating. Or you’ll go there (next to Andrea)?

I leaned myself there. Andrea said:

-Tell me how the thing with Adele was yesterday. Don’t laugh. Or I’ll ask her if you don’t tell me. I don’t know who to trust.

Don’t laugh? I considered it as the same like you say “Don’t say ‘R’ that way” to someone who couldn’t pronounce “R” well. I smiled because I’m glad what someone starts conversation with me. She didn’t believe me. If she really knew me (if she was my friend for real) she would have known I don’t lie. I could have explained to her again, but what would I have got? Being treated like this?

-Ask her. – I said. -I don’t mind.

She walked.

-I’m telling you I didn’t do it, you don’t trust me.

She later spoke to Tiffany and Virginia about this and I could hear it.

Tiffany: Ask her, but I don’t believe Nick said it.

Even Tiffany didn’t know me well. Where is the religion people?

On History Tiffany advised me I should tell the reason to Adele for the quiz. I couldn’t talk much. Just before the Economy lesson officially started, my classmates entered in the classroom and advised “She’s coming”. After a while Tiffany walked in smiling towards me. I didn’t return to her. After her Andrea and Virginia entered (it was obvious why; I wanted to call her fat smoker, but God means much to me.) I said “Hello” to Adele looking at her. After she sat I felt like she looked at me, so I looked at her, she wasn’t.

Adele: Nick did you delete it?

Now it was only it, regardless of the spent hours and love.

Me: I deleted it.

Adele: Sure?

Me: Yes.

Adele: Don’t let it be found by someone.

Me: No.

The lesson went as usual. Even Adele commented about doctors, but I think it was quieter.

After the lesson I asked Andrea if she told Adele. She said she did and that she believed it.

-Did she say I hadn’t blamed you?

-She didn’t. Importantly she believed me.

This was the thing I liked most about Andrea: When we had a different opinion, we disagreed only for that and the rest was nearly normal.

-Did you delete it?

-I did. Do you want to see it?

I showed her but she said:

-Weren’t you “student 14”?

-Yes. I’ll show you…

…She was interrupted by Virginia and then Ethan. She left.

In the evening while writing my diary I cried for Ethan again. What did Darryl have that I hadn’t? Where was I?

 

Saturday – 28.01.2012

I spent the day on my PC mostly. M. came. In the evening I thought I should have gone to Barbara for her birthday. I forgot the time.

 

Sunday – 29.01.2012

I went to grandma’s with mum. Barbara sent me a message that she wasn’t celebrating her birthday. Then: Internet, TV (handball).

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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