Wednesday 28.12.2011

The book was postponed for Friday. I told Sarah about the quiz. Adele didn’t say anything to me about the picture.

While I was waiting after school John asked me “Are you fine?” He left somewhere. Not after a long time Derek, Darryl and Ethan went along the upper path. Just after I lost their sight Andy was coming. He asked me if I knew where the boys from my class were. I said: “They went that way.” He turned around ready to pass the street and said to me “Come, if you want”. The “if you want” part showed that he was not sure if he wanted me with him. However, the first part of the sentence was stronger. I don’t get offers like this every week. It was now or never. I didn’t say anything to him. I just made a step towards him. I went with him. He said that they must have gone in the school and he asked me where I was gonna be for the New Year’s Eve. “Home” – you know me. (Days before I was thinking about it. Were those 1400 denars a deposit for my future? Am I going to become closer with the boys that evening? They weren’t that worth. Who guarantees me it’s gonna be as I want? So, I decided like this.)

-Why home?
-I decided like that…
-I thought to stay at home, but I’ll be in… (I guess) Stip. … Wait for us , we can’t run!

I could but if I ran they were going to see me, if they haven’t ‘till now. Why I thought that? They must have seen me by then. In the school they (Derek, Darryl and Andy) went to the little room where the bell rings from. There were Barbara Griffin and Melanie Collins. I stayed next to the glass wall. 2 or 3 steps forward there was E. leaned on the heating. Why didn’t he go there? (Before Darryl went to that little room he was talking sth to Mitchell (the housemaster). I wasn’t listening to them because I was thinking of what was I gonna write in my diary. They were laughing and I showed a fake smile after Mitchell looked at me. I had no idea what were they talking about. After the laughs I heard Mitchell saying “black people” and showing … his arm. I figured it out. They were speaking about porn.)

E. didn’t invite me. Big deal. I won’t humiliate myself any longer. If he doesn’t want me there is someone who does. Actually I was the first who indicated interrupting the contact between us back in 6th grade. Not without a reason I made that decision. Negating it would mean negation of myself at that period. My ex-Art professor passed and this time he asked sth (like when does your transport come). Two silent seconds. Was it my turn to give the answer? But E. was closer, I wasn’t even looking directly at the professor. E. answered it and I was sorry. Greg wasn’t the only professor we saw. Adele passed leaving. She said sth to E. I’m not sure if it was little or very cold. E. responded “Little bit warm”. :@ Ah? His sense of humor, I think that’s what made him popular. Adele didn’t say anything to me. How come? She wasn’t even looking at me. What is E. more than me? His sense of humor? Pf. I’ve read on the Internet before that Sagittariuses have intelligent sense of humor. And could this be considered as DISCRIMINATION according to law? The moral is “If people don’t treat you as they treat other people use your own freedoms.” The freedom I used was downloading photos from her and making a quiz about her. And I can’t wait to see her reaction when she sees the quiz. Maybe after that she’ll see completely liberal to act with me like she acts with my classmates. Anyway, Barbara G. called me where she was. I came there. Darryl was speaking about the artificial means for indulging – the products from Valiant X (dolls). E. went upstairs (to go to toilet, I bet) and Melanie said that he was acting like gay (meaning bad behavior). It’s OK. We all make mistakes, it is wrong if we don’t admit ’em. So, that was why E. was looking for a partner for the prom. Other than that, they spoke about the (vulgar things in the) movie “Jackass”. Apparently Melanie had seen it and Andy wanted to prove he’d seen it too. While walking Derek was in line with me, but JackassTheMoviehe stepped faster. I thanked God for making him intelligent enough to remember that mum could be there. She wasn’t and John asked me where I was. In the bus Monkey sat next to me and mum sat next to… Andy. I later found out Andy asked mum why I’m staying home for New Year. On the leaving, Andy said to Darryl to find “Jackass: The movie” and to send him the link. Flaw: Andy couldn’t find it himself.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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