Missed days (17.11.2011 – 04.12.2011)

My school obligations didn’t allow me to write continuously. I missed a lot of days… It is now Friday, 2nd of December and I’ll try to tell you what happened:

– Last week on Monday mum brought the computer on repair.

– E. asked me if I had the book Demian retold. I didn’t have it. It was too early for it.

– There was a situation in the locker room where E. asked me “What are we going to do economy?” I looked at him and this time he was looking towards me. It was E. – a big person to me, so I didn’t want to think the answer looking aside. “She didn’t say anything. I think new” or maybe I said “New. I’m going to present. I was speaking released and he nodded his head few times.

Les_Fleurs_Du_Mal-1946b-0cover_FULL– Not to forget when he asked me to tell him what are the important poems from “Les Fleurs du mal”. I told him with a big pleasure. Just… as there were 4 headlines I felt he needed a pencil, but I was shy to dare… Then he asked it from me. What a fool I was. I distinctly remember his final words: “Enough. They’re enough.”

– He also asked me about English homework from the last desk. I didn’t turn around when I said “No”.

– I suddenly realized that I didn’t reach my target. The plus side was: “If they don’t love me, I don’t want them either”. I was kind of ignoring them. At least not giving that attention. I thought “I’m sorry, but you will be more. Accept God.”

– We sat together on English. I and E.. Andrea was absent and we were having a preparation for the first written work. As you know on English E. sits in the first desk with Derek (V.). He wanted to have a better view and he did it, the board was just in front of him (it couldn’t have been better). It was a realization on one of my dreams. A miracle. Unfortunately we didn’t say a word, although I was using every moment to be closer to him. He didn’t even wait the bell to ring, as soon as he wrote, he moved back to Derek.

– Last Monday Darryl revealed he took a picture of him naked. Cassandra, Mary, Ethan, Sarah and Tiffany saw “the anaconda”. I wanted too, but there wasn’t an acceptable way to ask. What difference would it have been if I had seen it? We are related with Darryl.

– On a sport lesson Irene said we were a good pair for badminton.

– Last Tuesday I answered business and I didn’t do very well. I think I needed a moment like this. If I know all the time, every next time I would be afraid if I will say everything.

That day after “hours” I and Elaine went to the square. There were John (the kid from first year who occasionally asked me “where are you?”) and the guy from Ratabitz (the one I wrote about). I didn’t want to join them, so they came to my bench. John asked me some basic questions. Then we saw a gay – Nelson, the son of Latisha, the singer from Preevytip. Elaine asked me if I knew him. I finally find out his surname. Apparently he acted Sashka (from “Sashka and Sasho”) in Zlox and his wig fell.

– On Friday Sarah (from school) asked me if I was afraid from sth because when she clapped I didn’t blink. I said I was afraid from snakes and spiders. What I thought was “I’m afraid from God”.

– On Saturday I, mum and aunt Marlyn took a walk on “the opposite”. E.’s house has been upgraded. We saw his mother in the yard (they thought she quit her job) and later mum said “Nick, there’s Ethan” on the street. It wasn’t a coincidence.

– On Sunday I went to grandma’s house.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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