14.10.2011 – 19.10.2011

Friday 14.10.2011

We tried the new sport’s gym for the first time. There was a moment after I changed clothes in the locker room I and E. went at the same time to the toilet (in fact I went to drink water). I was asked Macedonian.

4261669-hand-using-mouse-over-shadowless-white-backgroundIn the afternoon Gail (Grandma’s sister) came to see photos on FB (of course!) of her son in Seoul. After more than an hour M. visited me. She wasn’t online. This day reminded me that I should never plan because plans can be ruined. Wasn’t the time after school in Friday reserved for resting? “My PC is not a vagina”.

Saturday 15.10.2011

Sarah (my cousin)’s birthday. I went to Preevytip with mum and my grandparents.

Sunday 16.10.2011

I studied for a while, watched TV and checked news on the Internet. M. made his fourth coming this week. The time was sth more than 1 p.m., I watched the last episode of Sheena, she was online and they briefly chatted.

Monday 17.10.2011

On the big break E. asked me what lesson we had, I told him, then he continued, then I continued.

Tuesday 18.10.2011

Madeline’s terrace was ruined. I gave my Philosophy book to Sarah.

Wednesday 19.10.2011

I answered management and got a clear “+” although I wasn’t confident before the lesson. After school I was nervous in the bus because I didn’t it. In the whole bus only I and mum were standing, just she was at the front, I – at the back part. At first George was standing too and I looked back to see if there’s a seat available for me. There was at the back seats, but someone had his legs put, so he covered 3 seats! (Zlox and everything is possible.) Dean, who was sitting on one of those seats had a dispute with George: “Sit on my dick” – he said… and after a while “Are you coming asshole?” George passed me and went to sit there, where there was at least one free seat, but nobody called “Nick!” and I really expected it from Dean, if it was the last year he would have done it. Why not now? Was it because of mum? But she was far from me.

Maybe it was because I once sat where he and Sarah used to sit often at “that” seat this year, so we are not that close? Why he changed? He called George “asshole”, but he also called him to sit. Why not me? I recalled Adele’s sentence on the last lesson: “DON’T LET THE OTHERS GET ON YOUR NERVES”, so I didn’t care (or didn’t want to). I assumed that this was because I was gay and I thought: I’ll be elegant, I’ll suck balls (inspired by “Sex and the city”), I’ll enjoy in art. You WILL NEVER be like me.

That day I saw the Devil for the third time that week from the window of the bus. Later, M. came and I was writing in my diary, reason obvious, right?


About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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4 Responses to 14.10.2011 – 19.10.2011

  1. makagutu says:

    have you been keeping a diary for so long

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