I and mum went to our garden to visit dad. M. came alone and checked his Facebook. He said “I want them like that” on mum’s “Those are prostitutes”. I have written I saw the Devil, but I don’t remember as I’m writing this the following Saturday.
Well, on the big break Mary and Sarah called me again to go to buy food with them. I accepted and as we were leaving – I was the last and Irene called “The Door!” “Close it yourself” – I said, but not loud enough to hear me. I kept walking, and when I was distanced enough I pushed it. If she can be mad at me, I can be mad at her. I bought pastry and I ignored her the next days. E. asked me “Do you have English homework?” I answered “That exercise in the book?” “Give me to write.” I showed him and I gave him. Denise returned me the book and said “Thank you”.
Tuesday – Thursday (04-06.10.2011)
On Tuesday E. said “Hello” to mum when she came in the bus.
E. asked what we had 3rd lesson on Wednesday.
It was Thursday when I paid to Virginia about the broken computer stuff. I wanted to know who paid. That day I was led by the rule “Own your own power”, because maybe you have it, but you should know how to use it, not to be inferior.
I cried on Economy. The reason was because I had opened the professor’s profile on Facebook and compared to her in the flesh. She seemed more beautiful live. Then I remembered M.’s comment about the deceased girl in Preevytip – Cindy – “What a beautiful girl” probably thinking of her drinking. What kind of difference does it make whether she was beautiful or not? I’m not good-looking, I know. I have more confidence if I hide the part of my face below my eyes. I’ve tried. If only there was some… If only the intelligence could be seen like beauty… “Are you crying?” Andrea asked me. “Yes” – I didn’t have what to hide. She hugged me. I didn’t tell her the reason, so she started guessing it: “What kind of problems do you have but school? Is it about school? Do you want me to make you friend with Darryl?” The answer was “I won’t tell you”. She remained intrigued.