28.09.2011 – 30.09.2011

Wednesday 28.09.2011

That morning I sat behind E. in the bus. Melanie sat next to me. After a while she sat next to E.. She turned around and said to me: “Keep place for Barbara (her friend maybe ex-best). “Good.” – I said. However, God didn’t allow it be as she wanted. When the bus stopped in front of Barbara, it opened its back door. We were sitting on the third or fourth seat and there were several students standing. Melanie and E. talked. I couldn’t hear what was it, but I consoled myself with the words: “She maybe had him for four years, I had him for almost six… and he was coming to my place…” However if I think deeper she had him for four years and counting. That could be for life!

On the big break, when we went to buy food, I told Mary I didn’t want to be seen with her because she had a boyfriend. She said “So what if I have boyfriend? Mustn’t I have friends?” We bought croissants – 7 days.

After school while I was waiting for the bus, Steven was passing and sat next to me. He asked me the usual questions and then out of nowhere: “You have started to shave. Or not?” You know that I’m sensitive on that issue. I replied: “I haven’t. Just with the scissors my moustache”.

-Just… what?

I repeated. Even if I wanted to change it I was already trapped. My family doesn’t know about that. How did he notice? I cut them since May. Why now, in September?

 

Thursday 29.09.2011

We ate Bake Rolls again.

I didn’t answer management.

On the sixth lesson, we had sport with another class from second year. They had come first in the locker room, so I with the rest of the boys from my class went in the gym. “Will we go to change?” – asked me Derek from Preevytip. “Let them change first.” Now, a long time later, in the locker room Derek said to me “Put your clothes here. Don’t be shy.” I was happy I had contact with him. We were supposed to. I wished I had another one next day.

 

Friday 30.09.2011

I didn’t get the wish from the last day, but I’ve got something bigger. As I was about to enter in the locker room before the first lesson, someone closed the door. Not completely – I stopped it with my hand. That “someone” was E.. He said “Sorry Nick”. I just kept walking. If it was Darryl, they would have touched their palms. We aren’t close.

registerPhilosophy was the second lesson. We had interrogation. Last day I asked from God not to be asked management, but that I can be asked philosophy. Usually, before an interrogation, I read the material quickly to take in as much as can, but this time I had my peak point the previous lesson on 100 metres. The volunteers answered first, then Elaine guessed my number. The professor asked me 3 questions and several sub questions. I looked in the copied paper once and in the book once. She (the professor) said I was narrating quietly. It must have been the big break when E. came to me and asked me: “Nick (yes, he generally says my name when he addresses me) will you give me (I looked at his eyes, but he wasn’t looking at me, so I looked down too) the paper that we should have copied Philosophy?” “I’ll give it to you. Normally, if a girl had asked me, I would have said “Good”. I took out the philosophy book and said “Just to find it.” While I was browsing through the book, Andrea came by and asked E. what he wanted. After he told her, she offered she to give him. His answer was “I’ll take from Nick”. Did he say it because he asked me first? That was the moment I found it. I gave it to him and he said he was gonna return it to me on Monday. During the history lesson the professor was often looking at E. while he narrated.

Later at home I watched TV series.

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About Real real me

Writing a diary. Life is a FIGHT!
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